Spiritual Fitness

This week's focus book(s) to read is: 1 & 2 TIMOTHY

I re-learned something recently that I already knew intuitively. Fasting is a great spiritual discipline, but a lousy way to lose weight (in the long run). Many of you already know, just less than a couple of weeks ago I completed a 40-day fast, whereas I only drank water, juice, broth, and a lot of yukky tea and some other distasteful things. And I lost 30 pounds in the process. But here's the kicker: since I started eating again, I've gained much of it back already... yep, I'm growing the gut again.  :-(  Oh well, that's because fasting as a diet is a really lousy, rather unhealthy way of shedding weight. During the famine you lose weight (though not at first, since your body goes in to starvation mode)... but eventually it comes off. However, during the feast you gain it back again in a great big hurry! 

I firmly believe that losing weight is more about paying close attention to eating a balanced diet (less carbs in my case)... moderating the portions (listening to my body)... EXERCISE... and frankly, giving my health/vanity over to God (recognizing it first and foremost as a spiritual battle). All of those things are key if I ever want to lose the gut once and for all (and perhaps live longer too).

Want to know the truth? I kinda do the same thing with Daily Bread too... that is, I have a feast or famine approach to chewing on the words of Holy Scripture. I might go a few days without reading a word... then spend several hours immersing myself in seeking what God has to say to me through the stories of His people. Why am I like that? Why do I starve myself for awhile, only to piggishly slop around in it later? Wouldn't a more mature approach be to marinate my soul (to continue the food analogy) in the Word daily... tuning my ear to God's Spirit, and seeking to know the will of God through an intentional, disciplined time of prayer?

⁶ If you explain these things to the brothers and sisters, Timothy, you will be a worthy servant of Christ Jesus, one who is nourished by the message of faith and the good teaching you have followed. ⁷ Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. ⁸ “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” ⁹ This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. ¹⁰This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.

Man, I really do want to get into shape. I want to look better, feel better, and live life more fully by getting into good physical condition. But more than that... much, much more than that - I want to train myself for godliness - and consequently, teach others how to receive the, "promising benefits in this life and in the life to come." I am not a perfect person... far from it. But God has called me to grow and mature in my faith, and passionately encourage others to bear down, to breathe deeply, and discipline themselves to do the necessary hard work so they can walk in the narrow path... the path of holiness... the Way of our Lord and our salvation... the resurrected life.


Thank you, Cole, for constantly and continually reminding me of my need to feed on the Words of God daily... and spend enough time in prayer to really and truly hear what He wants to whisper into my ear. You indeed are my Timothy, as well as my son.

Pathways

I had a nice conversation with a good friend the other day. We talked about pathways to God and other mysteries of life... you know, some light conversation over coffee. Anyway, according to the well-known religious guru, Oprah Winfrey, there are many pathways to God, and (my interpretation of her words) Christians are rather arrogant to think they know the only way to eternal life.

Hmmmm... I realize Oprah is a very good and very powerful person. She has very publicly, very generously given away many things to needy people, and has poured herself into causes of injustice around the world. But just because she's popular... just because she's giving... just because she's a celebrity (in a culture that worships celebrities)... just because she's a "good" person, I have - and always did have - a problem with Oprah's "many pathways to God" theology. Just who is her god anyway? I submit she believes that "god" is found deep within ourselves. With enough positive thinking, we can tap into our inner god. A novel idea, but one that goes against the Jewish/Christian concept of a powerful creator.

For example, here is an Oprah quote from a 2002 article: "I became calm inside myself and I thought, The outside world is always going to be telling you one thing, have one impression—accusatory, blaming, and so forth. And you are to stand still inside yourself and know the truth, and let it set you free. And in that moment, I won that trial."

Now, I don't pretend to know whether "good" sacrificial, generous, god-fearing (i.e., Christlike) people of other world religions are on the right pathway toward salvation. No one knows the eternal destiny of other human beings... only God alone knows that. As followers of the Way, we are called to discern a person's standing before God perhaps - and be witnesses of His mercy and grace - but never to judge or condemn them to "hell".

Like Oprah, I do not believe that people must (magically) utter the name of Jesus, or bow down to the cross, or read a Bible, or say the sinner's prayer... or (for heaven's sake) be regular church attenders in order to be on the "path" of salvation. So, if Oprah believes Christians are arrogant to think they are the only people on earth who have even a glimmer of hope of eternity (just because they were lucky enough to be born into the right culture)... I would agree with her. I firmly believe salvation is far more complex, far messier than that... part of the divine mystery. Finite creatures attempting to know the ways of the infinite God will never fully grasp Him.

However, unlike Oprah, I don't believe there are many pathways to God... there is only one... and that is right response to the light we have been given (by whatever means that light may be shed). In other words, I believe the One true God can and does have the power and motivation to reveal Himself to humanity... ALL of humanity. And ultimately, He invites every human being to look outside themselves - to walk on the path of eternity - through His Spirit. For many, this light is the gospel of Jesus Christ... that is, an invitation to walk in relationship with the Jewish Messiah - to live as he lived, and believe as he taught. For others, the light... the revelation of God... may be cast in different shades or colors... but nevertheless, the invitation to turn away from self-worship (to repent) and turn toward something far more powerful than themselves... is given. Now, just how and where salvation plays out in the midst of this revelatory transaction takes place is a complete mystery... wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, here's my beef with Oprah. Ultimately, it seems her god is found from within... in other words, we are god. If we just believe in ourselves more, if we search deeply inside our soul... our inner sanctuary, if we seek inner peace and harmony (the goodness within us all)... we will find salvation... bliss... the pathway to God.

But the God I know... the One who whispered my name and revealed Himself to me... The One who was, and is, and always will be... let me in on a little secret: Creation is good, very good... but within the bounds of human history, something very bad occurred... something which profoundly damaged the goodness of creation... In the context of freedom, a wrong choice was made, thereby damaging humanity's eternal relationship with God. But God - knowing our determined desire to find the answer within ourselves - allowed humanity to attempt to fix their own problems... to be "good" and moral beings strong enough and righteous enough to restore the broken relationship (in their own strength... with some help from God). But after thousands of years and countless cycles of failure (as told in the Old Testament stories of God's chosen people)... After it became abundantly clear humanity is "lost" apart from God... In the fullness of time, God revealed Himself more fully, more personally. The Lord Himself joined us in our stead, He came to our world and personally paid the high cost of our salvation. We, therefore - through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ - have the opportunity to live in a restored relationship with our Creator.

The answer is not found within ourselves, Ms. Winfrey... the answer is found outside of us, as we invite Him to come near. The answer is found in the loving, faithful, ever-so-patient, sacrificial, and yet oft-frustrated God who made us, cares for us, disciplines us, goes to the ends of the earth for our sake... and yes, the God - the ONLY God - who provides the Way for our eternity. "god" has a name - He revealed Himself to us as Yahweh. He then chose to more fully reveal Himself to us through His Son, Jesus... and by His Spirit. That is not a statement of arrogance... it is a Trinitarian statement of faith - it is an articulation of hope for those who seek something powerful and grace-filled of which they can cling to... forever.

Thursday Mornings with Roger

In the early days, we met at Starbucks. We'd get up at some ungodly hour, sip coffee, and talk. Frankly, the conversation had no rhyme or reason - just whatever was on our minds. Often, we'd step out of the Starbucks and join the geriatric crowd as they strolled along in the massive empty mall in which the Starbucks was located. On nice days we'd even go outside, and encircle the big, strangely built metropolitan mall located between State Line and Ward Parkway in Kansas City.

Sometimes the conversation was very spiritual - often we'd even drive to a nearby park or walk to one of the many isolated corners of the mall and pray together. But usually, the tone of our conversation was simply about life - sometimes life as two Christian men trying to be light in our world... and sometimes just two guys trying to maintain their sanity in the midst of a busy, overtaxing, meat-grinder kind of world. On any given week, it might be me or Roger (or both) who needed to talk - you know, just sort of unload all the junk stored up in our heart to a caring friend with a listening ear. Confession of sin... griping about something or someone... sharing a victory or key family event... any number of things could potentially set the tone of our mornings together.

Always, however, our mornings tended to revolve around two primary things: God's holiness and good coffee. Everything else may have randomly fallen together, but those two topics provided our conversations with a liturgical order and purpose. That is to say, we always enjoyed a great cup (or more) of steaming hot coffee, and inevitably the conversation always found its way to the personal, profound - albeit sometimes frustrating - grace of Jesus Christ, and the various ways He continually weaves it into our lives as imperfect, yet willing disciples.

After a couple of years at Starbucks, another option presented itself to us, which deepened our commitment to Thursday mornings together - Panera Bread became our new place to meet and talk and pray and laugh and cry. And our new location gave us three very important new motivators to get our butts out of bed on any given Thursday morning: (1) A private booth way back in a corner of the store... right next to the fireplace; (2) free online access (personal gripe: why in the world doesn't Starbucks have this?); and (3) Way-awesome breakfast! Wow, how I miss those bacon and spinach souffles. I admit, the coffee wasn't exactly Starbucks, but what the heck, we found a new home (church?), and it was almost heaven. The wonderfully-aromatic, most comfortable place on the planet (aka, Panera) became our weekly home away from home for the next couple of years.

But then I graduated and moved to Washington State. That's it, no more Thursday mornings with Roger. No more accountability. No more sounding board. No more prayer partner. No more fellow laborer in Christ to just whine to and be encouraged by. No more bacon and spinach souffles. No more iron sharpens iron. No more conversations about the emerging church, pastoral ministry, adoption (as in, Roger is in the midst of adopting a child internationally), parenthood, photography, and whatever else may have been going on in our lives at the time.

Oh, we've tried, and will continue to try other options like video chat... but it's just not the same without all the human and environmental trappings like eye contact, coffee aroma, guys washing the windows in the background (hey, it was part of the morning ritual), and Anna... our favorite waitress who knew us by name and always gave us the best looking souffles.

Lord, please send me another friend. Perhaps no one will ever be like Roger... and no other place will be like Panera... but send me a friend whom I can trust with my deepest secrets and fears... and someone to celebrate my victories with. Someone who'll listen to my stupid ideas without laughing at me (too much). Someone who will pray for me, confront me when necessary, and be my friend even when I don't deserve it. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, occasionally argue with, and always appreciate. Oh ya, and Lord... please send someone like that for Roger too. (Or just make it easy on all of us and Send Roger to the Pacific Northwest)! Amen.

The Keys to Success

Okay, okay... I cry Uncle... really I do. Recently, people have been pretty much telling me the same thing over and over again: (1) They like the way I articulate my thoughts about God and life, and (2) I don't do it very consistently at all. In fact, several times in the past few weeks, I've been encouraged (often with a fair bit of sarcasm) to update my blog more often.

And the truth is, I love to write... especially when I don't have to follow any rules or fear the editor's pen. More often than not, my grammar is likely incorrect, my punctuation is reprehensible, and my believe it or not, I've been known to say (and write) things that occasionally offend people. Yes, I know - big shock. But honestly, I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just trying to speak my mind about the profoundly easy, and yet profoundly difficult task of following Jesus.

So, after all these weeks away from my blog... here is my incredibly deep thought for today: I am not a very important person anymore.

In the past, I have had big keychains - keys to my car, my wife's car, my house, my work, my church, and even perhaps several other important places (or things) of value and security. But these days I only carry two keys - the one to my car and the one to my rental home. That's it - two lousy keys. No enormous keychain with a dozen keys crowding their way around the metal ring... just two rather simple, rather lonely keys.

You see, as a church planter, I don't have a church door in which to place a key - which is strangely humbling and lonely. When I encounter people and tell them I moved back to Ellensburg recently to plant a new church, the first question most of them ask is, "Where is your church located?" And when I tell them our home is serving as the place for our church - at least for now, most of them get a confused look on their face and say, "Oh, that's interesting." And part of me can't really blame them. After all, a church is a building, right? You know, a steep roof line, stained glass, bad landscaping, well-lit signage, etc. Hmmmm... or is the church more than a physical building after all?

Better question? What is the church? And what are the "keys" to starting a new church (pardon the pun)? In the past, one of the top answers was always rather obvious: secure a physical space that provides adequate room in which to worship as a community of believers. Well, duh! 

But how many well-intentioned church planters have immediately implemented this traditional wisdom in their local context, only to find themselves enslaved to a building (and rent) and everything else that implies, such as preaching to no one in an empty sanctuary. How much better then, to be freed and empowered to: (1) gradually and naturally become part of their community, (2) authentically build and develop relationships with a wide range of folks, (3) show hospitality by inviting strangers into their home, and (4) find creative ways to be missional - that is, to share the love of God in Christ with those who don't yet know of His amazing grace - both individually, and as a (growing) emerging new community of disciples learning to live life together as the "church."

In other words, what if worship were more than gathering together once a week (in our Sunday finest) to sing spiritual songs and articulate pastoral prayers, and acquire sermonic, practical help on how to live our lives better as a Christian believer. Note: I'm not down on church in general... (not completely, anyway)... but I guess I'm convinced that church - according to the teachings of Jesus - was designed to be so much more than what we've reduced it to. For that matter, the divine call to live a holy life was designed to be so much more than what we've reduced it to in 21st century USAmerica... but that's another post I suppose.

Well, anyway... maybe the keys to getting back to the fundamentals of the gospel are not found in a grand new building with a killer sound system, but rather in our collective family rooms and kitchens, armed with nothing more than mutual submission, authentic desire, and a biblical discussion about life... Not by going to church once per week (dutifully), but by learning to live out church 24/7 (passionately). Not by (merely) studying Jesus, but by submitting to, communicating with, and expecting the Holy Spirit to generously incorporate the character of Jesus into our lives - powerfully, mysteriously, and supernaturally.

Ahhhh, but regardless of all that - my ego would feel a lot better if my keychain became a bit more populated! Maybe Starbucks will give a key someday to open up shop at O'Dark 30 (?) Then again, maybe I should just follow the call of Christ, be more comfortable with two keys in my pocket, and try not to worry about how people in our culture define success.

Hungry

Well, it's been an up and down kind of week, mostly down to be honest. 10 days to go, and we're all feeling the heat. Last night, I wrote a long, pretty negative blog which detailed our fears and concerns about this whole church-planting adventure. But I decided not to post it. Frankly, it was just too blunt and full of fear. Suffice to say things are not going real wonderful at the moment, but regardless of how things may look circumstantially, I continue to believe that everything will work out in the end. Moving issues, building issues, no-place-to-live issues, no-place-to-store-our-stuff issues... you know, everyday stuff (smile)!

I've been thinking about my recent post on personal evangelism, and I want to try to articulate my "method." I must admit though, it's not very structured... in fact, it's rather loose and flabby. There's probably a lot of overlap in my definitions below, but what can I say? Truth to me is not systematic and rationalistic, but inter-relational and organic.

First, I think it's important to become fully saturated with the love of God. It's not my pre-rehearsed speech that will convince someone to enter the kingdom of God, but the authentic love of God overflowing from my heart. So, in my mind, evangelism is rooted in a deeply dependent relationship to, with, and in Jesus Christ. This involves the basic Christian spiritual disciplines such as private and corporate prayer, and passionate consumption (and communal interpretation) of the Word of God. The Bible is read, not to receive "how to tips on evangelism from Jesus and friend," but rather to enter the story of God and allow His Word to shape my character from the inside out. The more I read... and give the Spirit of God permission to saturate my soul through the narrative and propositional truths... the more my heart, soul, mind and strength become mysteriously shaped into the image of Jesus Christ. It's not about principles for living... rather, more like revelation for transformation.

Secondly, I believe it is imperative to become thoroughly immersed in the local community in which I live... where I socialize, go to school/work, shop, eat/drink, play, run errands, worship, and dwell. The light of Christ was meant to be given away to others who are living in darkness, but I cannot shine if I do not engage and intentionally nurture relationships wherever I go and live. I don't need to carry the attitude that I must "get everyone in the world saved." No, I must carry the attitude that God is at work in my community, and I must seek to join Him where He is. As far as I can tell, that "place" is not predictable or measurable or containable. The task of reconciliation is the Lord's alone to carry out, and all He asks of me is to make myself attuned to His will, available to be His presence in the world, and eager to share the story of His resurrection power to forgive and transform with anyone who genuinely seeks Him.

Third, I believe evangelism extends to more than just a one-time conversation or crisis at the altar... into something much bigger and more effective in the context of eternity. Yet it is also messier and less controllable. Incarnational presence goes beyond getting someone to say the sinner's prayer... Incarnational presence is a continual acting out of God's personal touch to those who hunger to grow in their knowledge and experience of His grace. It is reaching out to the powerless. It is giving to the poor and needy. It is spending time to pray for the oppressed and afflicted. It is listening to those who need to spew venom or vent pain that has been welling up in their heart. It's doing what Jesus did when He came to this dark place... It's giving people a better alternative... and empowering them to believe in something (someone) outside of themselves... it's costly... it's self-emptying... it's God-focused and it's powerful.

Fourth, I believe evangelism has to erupt from our best intentions and motivations. I am not on a mission to grow a church, or get another notch in my gun (gunslinger talk)... or even satisfy my own ego to "get someone saved." No, the motive of my evangelistic style must not originate from my modern desire to build a powerful empire... it must originate in the all-powerful, pure, interdependent, ever-continuous love of the Triune God. I'm not here to do God any favors... frankly, He doesn't need me to save the world, or even one person within it. But He does delight in utilizing the overflow of my heart to touch people who yearn for something greater than what their experience has offered up to that point in their lives. I am not a self-automated power-tool, finding people who are broken and taking it upon myself to fix them... I am a hand-tool, placed in the hands of Almighty God, ready to go wherever He call me, and do whatever He bids me to do. I don't have to worry about anyone's eternal destiny... I just have to love people wherever I go, and trust that He knows what He is doing with my life.

Evangelism is not what we tell people, unless what we tell is totally consistent with who we are. It is who we are that is going to make the difference. If we do not truly enjoy our faith, nobody is going to catch the fire of enjoyment from us. If our lives are not totally centered on Christ, we will not be Christ-bearers for others, no matter how pious our words.
--Madeleine L'Engle

Two Weeks

(Deep breath)...

In 13 days, we'll be heading out on the biggest journey of faith that we've ever taken before. And lately I've been reminiscing about our journey here. Looking back, I guess you could say we stepped out in faith when we sold our home, packed up our stuff and moved to Kansas City six years ago so I could attend seminary. And yes, it was a serious step of faith for us... but it didn't really seem like it at the time... we didn't know anyone in the Midwest, had no place to live, no jobs, very little money... In fact, all we had was a 26 foot U-Haul truck full of stuff and lots of faith that God had called us there.

And indeed He did call us to Kansas City. Not just for a rich, holistic, life-changing master's education and the opportunity to learn new things about God... but also for the practical life experiences and the opportunity to learn new things about ourselves! One lesson we certainly learned (sometimes the hard way) is that yes, indeed, God was there to take care of us every step of the way... even when it seemed like times were very dark and our marriage might fall apart. Things simply fell into place... and we learned to depend on each other in ways that could have not come from our own wisdom or strength... it was truly the Master's hand guiding us. Strange, interesting, and thoroughly unpredictable events unfolded right before our eyes... all in all, those first few months were hard but very special to me and my family. All doubts about whether or not God had orchestrated our move (and our calling) - not us - were erased early on. I often struggle with knowing whether I'm following God's will or Jeff's will. The latter is not pretty... and I have many years apart from God to prove it!

Then, right at twelve months into our new life in Misery... uh, that is, Missouri, after the honeymoon period had worn off a bit and the finances were getting extremely tight... one of the biggest miracles of all took place... God called us to serve in a small church in the southern part of the city. The pastor and church board were looking for a seminary student who would simply be willing to serve part-time in exchange for living in their parsonage... a parsonage mind you, with four bedrooms, a full basement, and in a wonderful older neighborhood. Duh... It took me about three seconds to ponder the benefits of that deal! So, I paid them a visit that same day!

But, here we are, five years from that point, and two weeks from moving back to Washington State... and this revelation is really hitting me hard: I'm not going to miss the house one bit (and it has been a great place to live and raise our kids). Frankly, it's the people we're sad about leaving behind, not the building. Since we have the ever-hectic VBS planned for the last week of our time in the big city, the congregation threw us a big farewell party last night and laid hands on us to carry on the Christian tradition of sending us to our next assignment. The whole night was simply wonderful... and yet, it was terrible. I cried like a baby, and my wife cried even harder... and my nine year old daughter cried even harder than that! My 13 year old son didn't cry as much, but he didn't really say much either... he was too overwhelmed and choked up to speak. Good heavens, it was like an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition... I don't know about you, but I can't make it to the end of that show without tears flowing... Nor can I say goodbye to the people who have been our friends, adopted family members, and our biggest supporters without feeling like my heart is being ripped in two.

It's funny, but I've been waiting for this moment for a very, very long time. I've watched many fellow students, a few fellow associate pastors as they left us for greener pastures, never to return... and oh how I longed for the day when it would be us leaving for a new ministry adventure. And now that it is literally upon us, I'm excited of course... but surprisingly I'm not joyful. There's a whole stew of emotions flooding my soul right now - sorrow about leaving some of the best people in the world behind... fear and trembling about what we're getting ourselves into in Ellensburg (more to come on that topic later)... joy that it's finally "our time" to be heading out into the wild blue yonder... and (this is a paradox)... even a bit of mourning that I'm not in school anymore. I never considered myself a natural student... I have a pastor's heart, and only came to seminary to learn how to think theologically (NOT to learn how to become a pastor)! Even though I hated reading all those books (the boring ones), and dreaded writing all those papers (the difficult ones)... I am mystified to say that there is a part of me that misses the challenge to engage my brain in the marketplace of ideas... and consider how that translates into pastoral ministry in the 21st century.

My God, I've been institutionalized! It's a good thing I'm leaving town, or I might someday get the crazy notion to work toward a D.Min. degree... Nah, I'm not that warped!

Nevertheless... God is calling us, of all things, to come home. The vision has been cast, the deal has been set, the call has been made, and plans have been executed... we are now officially past the point of no return. I know this is the right thing to do, but why doesn't He make it easier to leave one place as we prepare ourselves for whatever he has planned where we're going? Oh well... our old church will move on and we will move on... but not completely. Though time and distance may separate us... the love of God in Christ will bond us to those wonderful folks for all eternity.

Thank you for all generosity, patience, love and grace you have shown me and my family these past five years, Summit View Church of the Nazarene! We are profoundly grateful for what you've done to shape us and prepare us to serve in His kingdom.

The River

My good friend Eric laid into me the other day for not posting to my blog regularly... so I thought I'd better write something down or I'll hear from him again!

Well, it looks as though the River will be flowing very soon. I'm writing to you from a home in Spokane, where we're staying during our very short trip to Washington State to finalize the details for planting a church in my hometown of Ellensburg. We met in a downtown high rise office building this morning to discuss the financial details and philosophy for starting a brand new work in the 'Burg.' As it turns out, their proposal to us was very different than ours was to them... but in some ways it is more freeing, and certainly more balanced for all parties involved. The people who are sponsoring this new church are so wise and so positive... We were blown away by their sincere affirmation and encouraging feedback. We may be the only ones in our little town as we begin our ministry there, but we will certainly not be alone. There is a whole team of people who deeply care for us and really want to see this new church succeed.

Quite honestly, there is no specific ministry plan... at least not anything that is set in concrete. We have a lot of ideas, passion, and questions... but much of what we do depends on what and who we encounter when we arrive there. We talked it over quite extensively, and as a group, we came to this conclusion: The sooner we begin, the better! So tomorrow morning we'll fly back to Kansas City, give our notice at our respective places of employment, pack up our belongings, and prepare to leave town on June 17. I graduated from seminary on Mother's Day, so it seems very fitting to leave town on Father's Day!

I admit, I have been very negligent in posting to this site... but the past month has, without a doubt, been the longest month of my life. Waiting and praying to see if this is indeed where God is calling us to serve His kingdom. Not knowing for certain has been very frustrating to say the least. However, we left that meeting today with the full knowledge and affirmation that everything we've been sensing in our spirit over the past 12 months has been the call of God on our lives... calling us back to the very place we began our journey together 18 years ago... and of all things, to start a new church! This time around, instead of (trying to) chase girls and abusing alcohol, I'll be sharing the good news of God's grace. Instead of trying to escape my hometown, I'll be seeking to become part of the local culture... to inspire others to serve the poor... to draw near to the One who created them... to become a disciple of Jesus.

The Lord wants to redeem the years the locusts have eaten...

One other thing that became clear in the meeting this morning... we won't be able to take on this project all by ourselves. Obviously, we'll need to depend on God throughout this ministry adventure... but we'll also need a team of people around us... people with passion for Christ, and the gift of thinking through the details... especially in terms of financial stewardship.

No question... It's going to be hard, it's going to be lonely, often times we'll probably want to give up and run away... but it's also going to be wonderful! In a way I can't fully articulate, I know all the way down to the core of my being that God created me for such a time as this... that is, He created US for such a time as this! Though I could certainly do something easier than plant a church in my hometown... or something more financially rewarding... I could never do anything more right or satisfying. It is the right time... the right place... the right circumstances, and the right decision for my family... Somehow I think we'd better buckle-up and prepare for the ride of our lives, 'cause we're about to get on the biggest, fastest, most dangerous roller-coaster ever built... and it makes the adrenaline flow through my veins just thinking about it!

Yikes! Anybody want to move to Ellensburg and get on the roller-coaster with us?

In Response to a Concerned Friend in Christ

This was my response to a concerned friend who was trying to understand my foul mood this afternoon. I believe it's self explanatory, and probably offensive to some:

Don't' worry, I'm still a Christian... More so than ever! But if you're curious enough to investigate, you'll find that the postmodern movement is far more than fluff. I don't want to threaten your faith, but if you want to talk it over over coffee sometime or a few times, I'll always be open. Frankly, we may just have to agree to disagree. Some Christians (young and old) embrace postmodernism, and many simply reject it - they don't trust what they believe it has to say to modern Christians... and consequently they think it's leading the Church down a path straight to hell.

I love the Church, but have long thought that something about it is incomplete, lifeless... essentially, something is broken about church, and I believe it somehow needs to be "fixed." The postmodern movement (though far from perfect) has a lot to say to the 21st Century American church to knock it back on its heels a little... and frankly, that angers some people, so they rail against the evils of postmodernism, and/or the emergent church. That happened to me today, and I still don't know if I'm more offended, angry or sad! Most of these people have never actually read or studied the movement - other than reacting to the out-of-context soundbytes they've heard - and what they hear threatens their understanding of "Truth." So, mostly out of ignorance and fear they reject it (and try to incite other Christians to do so as well).

My take is this: Okay, so read a book or two that explains the viewpoint. You may read about it, listen to what they're saying, and THEN if you don't like it, go ahead and reject the message. But if you haven't done your homework - if you're just reacting to here say and listening to radio preachers tell you how evil it is - then you really don't have a legitimate right to gripe about it. Yes, I'm still the same old Jeff, but I've been shaped by a seminary level education.

Some people think that's the problem... After all, Christians ought to just read the Bible (The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it)! You've seen the bumper stickers... They have an anti-intellectual view. Others think a seminary education gives a person the right to be superior and speak down to the "little people" who live in ignorance... But those folks are out of touch and just plain arrogant.

Quite honestly, I don't' believe I'm evil because I've worked my tail off to learn how to think theologically, nor do I think I'm superior to anyone. I do think I've learned a lot that can serve to help people who are living in darkness, and desperately want their lives to mean something. I don't have time to argue with whiny Christians who think postmodernism is the work of the devil. I want to spend my life living in grace-filled community that exists to help unbelievers recognize the goodness and grace of God... I don't think I need to constantly threaten them with the horrors of hell... 'cause the reality is, they're so worried about next week and next month that most of them don't even care at ALL about the next life.

And besides, deep down they already know that something is deeply, seriously wrong anyway. They don't need to be brow-beaten, they need to be given hope. And YES, they need to be made aware that life apart from God has terrible consequences - now and forever - but for goodness sake... spare me the 1950's legalistic, manipulative garbage that makes people develop an image of God the Father as horrible and evil. And yet, if we quit cussing, and dancing with the opposite sex, we can know that Jesus is the good guy who'll punch our ticket to heaven! All we have to do is make the logical decision to believe in Him (and of course, repeat the sinner's prayer).

That may be the paradigm in some modern circles, but from my perspective it doesn't have much connection to the gospel. Did Jesus ever do an alter call? Did Paul ever lead anyone through Evangelism Explosion? Did Peter ever lead someone through the four spiritual laws? Moses could have learned so much from Aristotle!

I hate to break it to you, but it goes a whole "hell" of a lot deeper than that... Jesus didn't come to save America... or save individuals only... or even to thump those unbelievers (or postmoderns) who reject God... He came bring reconciliation between God and ALL of His creation... ALL of humanity. He came to offer hope to the helpless... He came to dine with sinners, and tell them of His Father's love. He came to sanctify humanity... not just our bad behavior, but our corporate brokenness and mortality and desperate-ness.

Okay... that's enough of a sermon for now... read the papers [perhaps I'll post these later] and then we'll talk if you still want to :-) Of course, the they're not nearly deep enough... you'd be amazed at the volumes of books on what was accomplished in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. In the midst of all this, I for one am impressed at what the postmodern movement has to offer to the ongoing conversation. So ya, read some books if you want to keep going down a road to new discovery... but don't worry, I won't be offended if you won't or can't stomach it my "emerging" beliefs about doing church.

Frankly, I'm not changing back to my old fundamentalist theology of yesteryear... and besides, I'll guarantee you that - like it or hate it - postmodernism (or whatever it comes to be known as) is the future of the world and the church... so we can stay in the "good old days" of the past (or present) where it's safe, or step forth into the fearful darkness by faith in the God who continues to write His story of grace through His Church. Either way, I'm sure we'll get our ticket to heaven punched (grin).

Jeff

Raised Up

How come everyone who knew Jesus was so surprised about His resurrection? I mean, it's not like Jesus never plainly told His disciples that he would suffer, be killed and raised to life again (Matthew 16, 17, 20, Luke 9). He even tore into Simon for arguing against that "crazy" line of thinking... going so far as to call him the devil for trying to circumvent God's plan of salvation (Matthew 16:23). But it's true... all of it... the Son of Man came to fulfill the Old Testament prophecies and rescue humanity from its helpless estate. He came to suffer and die, opening for us a way to die to our sin (rather than in our sin). And yet He was raised, opening for us the way to live in the power of His resurrection.

But still we doubt... and argue. Those who don't believe in Christ doubt the resurrection because it is simply not logical or reasonable. Those of us who have crossed that spiritual/intellectual barrier and do believe in the resurrection of Jesus can't quite agree on what was accomplished in terms of our life in Christ. Was the work of the atonement (including the resurrection) primarily a legal transaction... or was it more about the demonstration of holy love? Was it for the salvation of all humanity, or just the elect? Yada, yada, yada...

In my tradition of faith - which certainly has its detractors (many of whom may write me a long response to correct my improper view of sanctification) - we view the resurrection as an invitation to live the Christ life, and all that implies. Wesley said something to the effect that the supreme and overruling purpose of God's plan of salvation is to renew men and women's hearts in His image... not just someday but in this life. Not perfection of our humanity per se, but perfection of our ability to love others. The Holy Spirit reveals this holy mystery to us and empowers us to participate in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. In other words, Jesus not only delivered us from all sin (in objective terms), He also made it possible for believers to be filled with all the fullness of God (in subjective terms)... through faith that works by grace-filled, ever-growing love for God and neighbor.

Well, whether or not any of that made any sense... Easter is certainly a cause for Christian celebration... even in the midst of our perplexing, doubt-laden, relationship with, and oft-argued understanding of the resurrection. Perhaps it's not important that we fully understand and/or agree on all the implications of the resurrection, as it is to simply believe and extend grace toward one another.

In Luke 24, when He encountered the disciples on the road to Emmaus, Jesus employed a great way to open the eyes of the disciples so they were filled to overflowing with surprising joy and Messianic hope; the Eucharist. After pointing out all that the Scriptures had to say about his earthly ministry, Jesus, "Sat down at the table with them. Taking the bread, he blessed and broke and gave it to them. At that moment, open-eyed, wide-eyed, they recognized him" (Luke 24, The Message). Wow, when we sit down at the table of fellowship and break bread together as followers of Jesus, we find that all we need to know about God's salvation is made clearly visible to us... He gives us full recognition and removes our doubts and anxieties so that we may experience the fullness of His divine presence. Hmmmmm... That seems worthy of celebration. Happy Easter!

Holy Week

It's 4:23 AM and I haven't slept very much all night. On top of that, I'm either suffering from a serious bout of hay fever, or I've gone and caught a fairly nasty cold. I think I know what's going on... with only a few (extremely pressure-packed) weeks to go in my seminary career, I'm remembering what I knew when I came here six years ago... I'm allergic to Kansas City! I need to head back to God's country, Washington State... quite literally to clear my head once again! :-)

Last night was interesting. On Wednesday nights at my church, the Sr. pastor and I trade off leading the devotional service. I love Wednesday nights, primarily because it's interactive... no sermon, no formal service... just a few songs of my choosing and an open-ended time of spiritual discussion, typically based on something found in the Bible (though that's not always the case). For the past several weeks, we've been making our way through the book of Judges.

Wow... I've read those stories several times before... but I've never really slowed down long enough to be shocked by them. Much of the book of Judges is appalling, if not downright offensive. I realize much of the text has to be filtered through the lens of significant cultural change, etc. Nevertheless, most of it is depressing and heartbreaking stuff. Wanton murdering, lying, raping, cheating, stealing, power-grabbing, idol worshipping... and those are the "good guys"! Basically, to me, Judges reveals humanity at its worst... base-level, unbounded sin. There is an interesting line scattered throughout the text that is rather intriguing: "In those days Israel had no king." No king... no leadership, no vision, no gelling agent, no boundaries, no relationship with Yahweh. But there's one thing they did have... religion - or should I say religiosity. An appearance of authenticity, but laced with self-centered, self-serving poison. Just one or two generations removed from Moses... geez, you'd think people would remember the miracles, remember the warnings, remember the grace that was shown their fathers and grandfathers... but no... they were content to turn from the One True God, and chase after false gods with a vengeance.

I guess the irony is that the Lord didn't want Israel to have a king... HE desired to be their king... and He even set up a system to raise up human "judges" (or stewards?) to give them someone they could relate to... But the people rejected His offer of grace. They wanted a human king, someone to wear the royal robe and diadem... someone who would powerfully lead the tribes of Israel into battle and give them victory over their enemies. So eventually, God gave the people what they demanded. But - if I understand the history properly - in this in-between time, God began to lift His hand of mercy from the stubborn, stiff-necked Israelites, and left the people to their own devices. Therefore, the book of Judges reflects a dark time in history when "Israel had no king." The last three chapters of the book are particularly gruesome and troubling. When you finish reading the story of the "Concubine in Twelve Parts"... you just feel kind of empty inside, realizing how disgusting people can really be toward one another.

Strange way to end the book huh? And... a strange book to finish up on Holy Week huh? Yes, and no. As we digested the grotesque treatment of the poor woman in the story, a few things were pointed out:

1. If we think the world we live in is bad (and it is), compared to the time of the Judges, our day and age seems rather tame.

2. If possible, the world very well have been even worse in the days of Noah... in other words, there may be no end to the depravity of our sinful hearts. That at least helps me understand better why God decided to destroy the world and start over again with Noah and his family.

3. Though I read those stories and conclude that God ought to nuke the whole bunch of them... even in the midst of their rejection of Him, and their violence toward one another... God saw them as valuable enough to forgive... lovely enough to redeem... special enough to rescue.

4. Very simply... thank God for Jesus. Thank God that He came. Thank God that in spite of everything, He never backed away from His merciful offer to be our King. Thank God that He sees the good in us, even when it's not readily apparent. Thank God for the self-emptying love of our Messiah.

Answers

I think I blew it the other night with my brother-in-law and his wife. I recently spent some time at their home and enjoyed several days of their warm and wonderful hospitality. One night, just before leaving, we were all talking with another friend of theirs (a pastor's wife), and the subject of witnessing came up. Now it wasn't exactly what I believe about witnessing - to me it sounded a whole lot more like selling cars than shining with the light of Christ in the darkness. Nevertheless, I behaved quite well, managing not to say anything too controversial. However, the point was then raised that the reason it's so difficult to witness to others is because if the (witnessee) brings up a hard question, everyday Christians often don't know the answers.

The pastor's wife, certain that the Bible holds the answers to any and all questions pertaining to life, suggested that if she were witnessing to another person and they asked her a question she couldn't answer, she'd simply tell them she'd look up the answer and get back with them... in fact, better yet they could join her and look it up with her, because surely the answers are there in that book somewhere.

Wow. Try as I might to refrain myself... finally I had to engage with her. Do you mean to tell me that you think the Bible has all the answers to life... kind of like a Teacher's Edition math book with all the answers at the back? Her answer... "Yes, absolutely...but of course they're not necessarily at the back of the book." Against my better judgment, I continued... So whatever problems I have going on at a given time, I can just turn to the Bible and it will tell me how to deal with it...? "Yes... of course it does... And that's why everyone should read and study it every day, to get the answers they need."

So, in my infinite wisdom, I forged ahead... I told them wow, that hasn't exactly been my experience with God's Word. In fact, that view of the Bible seems rather impersonal and individualistic... more American than biblical. I agree a lot of answers to our deepest questions are found there, but the Bible was never meant to be reduced to a mere science book or magic 8-ball. By this time, all eyes were on me... and everyone looked at me as if I had just stripped off all my clothes and began singing AC/DC's "Highway to Hell at the top of my lungs."

In fact, I continued, our individualistic demands of God can lead us astray more than you might think. When everyone studies the Bible exclusively on their own (usually with the aid of study notes and AM radio preachers)... the need for doing church... that is, gathering in the community of God's people... begins to fade. In fact, I'm convinced that church attendance in much of America has been reduced to meeting together as a collection of individuals... to sing songs, visit friends, and get our simplistic "Jesus answers."

That went over like a lead balloon.

But I couldn't help myself. God hard-wired us to live in community with one another, and as such we are called to live together, worship our Lord and King together, and yes, interpret God's Word together... in the context of community. I'm all for doing personal devotions, but when we live with a "Jesus and Me" mentality, and the Bible itself becomes as or more important than the God who created the Bible... we have entered into the dangerous waters of bibliolatry.

The Bible is not an answer book... nor is it some kind of pseudo-god to be worshipped... it is a witness of the One True God to be explored... It is a living, Yahweh-ordained instrument that has the power to miraculously breathe life into our deadness. It doesn't merely provide (personal) answers to life... it does far more than that! It informs us of our hopeless state as a fallen creation. it invites us (corporately and personally) to repent of our sin... to accept the redemptive work of Yahweh, to relate to His Son, the Savior... to fully enter the Christ-life... to submit ourselves to the One who created us and desires to re-form our character, allow the Person of the Holy Spirit to fill us with His grace, and transform us into people of self-emptying, Christlike love.

The Bible, primarily utilizing a collection of interweaving stories (but also propositions) about the good, the bad, and the ugly in regards to humanity - has the power to lead us into the presence of the Holy One. As we live in relationship with our Lord, the Bible serves to shape us and mold us, and renew our mind... and ultimately... do what it promises to do... form us into the image of God... the communal God. The Bible, like people... is relational-messy, utterly complex and often unpredictable... frankly, it transcends simple definition. To put scientific boundaries around that kind of power, and try to place it in a nice orderly box with lots of duct tape (and call it holy) is not only misguided, it is dangerous.

Oh man... now I have a lot of making up to do. The next time I visit my in-laws, somehow I'm going to have to convince them that I really do love the Bible... and I really am a follower of Jesus Christ... and seminary has in fact deepened my faith and trust in God, rather than turning me into a whacked-out, Bible-rejecting, Jesus-hating liberal! Perhaps next time I get into a discussion like this with folks I'll just keep my mouth shut and nod approvingly... NAH!

God-Breathed

From 2 Timothy 3: Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.

The Bible is a dangerous thing. Throughout history, people have used portions of God's Word to do very stupid things, and some have even used it to justify horrific and vile actions against humanity. Many try to use it as a simplistic code for morality, and yet - even though they endeavor to follow it's principles to the letter - their life and their actions can't be said to be defined by love.

What is it about the Bible that is so confusing... so perplexing? It's by far the best selling book in the world (so I'm told) - heck, most households have at least one Bible, and the majority of Christians have several. One look at the shelves of a Christian bookstore and you can see why... there may be one Bible but a whole plethora of versions, translations, etc. There's a Bible for any particular sub-group to which you may belong. It's kind of embarrassing... 'cause I'm willing to bet that even though practically every American has access to at least one Bible, not too many people seem to actually read it.

But I don't know what's worse... not reading the Bible, or reading it in a vacuum... apart from a community of people who desire to interpret and live out the fullness of what the scriptures teach. I believe Paul when he says, "Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us." But my experience and education have taught me that this "shaping" doesn't happen to isolated individuals - at least not very often - rather, it happens to people within an authentic community of faith. The problem, of course, is that not all communities are created (or shaped) equally. If those charged with proclaiming the scriptures seek to do anything more or less than love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength (and consequently love their neighbor as themselves)... then the community won't be defined by the essence of God's character - that of self-emptying love.

So what's my point? Well, that's the beauty of a spiritual diary I suppose... it doesn't have to make complete sense! But Here's what I'm trying to articulate:

The Bible, in all it's beauty and mystery and authority, has been woefully misused and misunderstood over the centuries - both by the world and by God's people. It seems we either want to elevate it to the status of God (which is idolatry), or reduce it to a collection of nonsensical fables. But I don't believe the Bible should be force-fit into either of those categorical extremes.

It is not just a humanistic collection of stories... However, that claim cannot be understood apart from a hunger to know the person of God... the faith of a child to believe the Creator of the universe lives, and has made a way to communicate directly with His creation.

On the other hand, it is not divine either. The scriptures are not God... they are the witness of God... the revelation of God. How does the Bible reveal God? He is so gracious, He chose not to dictate every word that was written down... He didn't reveal Himself as abstract truth... Instead, He revealed Himself to a particular people, within a particular cultural context. Essentially, He gave the people what they could understand - the story of His grace interweaving through His fallen creation to redeem it. And that story of grace continues right up to the present day (and beyond). His Spirit helps us... within a community of faith... to interpret that same story for our own lives... enabling us to understand it in light of our own cultural context.

Therefore, the Bible is far more profound than what it may appear to be. My desire and calling is to inspire people to read it together... and interpret it together... and live it out together... It is the awesome story of God... the God who loves us... the God who emptied Himself... the God who came into this world in the only way that we could understand His love... the God who gave up His life for our sake. When it's all said and done, the Bible is not a simple collection of laws or principles for Christian living... it is ultimately about the Holy Person of Jesus Christ - the One who personally invites us to let His story be our story.

Go Away From Me!

Yesterday, I posted about Simon Peter's doubt when Jesus told him to let down his nets for a catch. But I missed another important element of the story. When Peter did obey, the nets were overwhelmed... and so was Simon. After spending an entire night of fishing with no results. Mind you, this was a "professional" fisherman who lived and breathed the vocation of hauling in the catch. It was his family tradition and primary source of income, so I think we can safely assume that Simon knew how to fish. And yet, nothing. A whole night of effort with no reward.

Then Jesus entered the picture, and everything changed. "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." I don't know where Peter spent his night fishing... presumably where he knew the deep underwater pools attracted the big fish to come and hang out for a midnight snack. To catch fish, you have to go to where they are. But for all his expertise, Simon and crew came up empty and exhausted. When Jesus hopped into his boat, I'm sure Simon was relieved to just sit there and listen to the Master teach the people. But when He was done, He told Simon to put out into deep water and let down the nets for a catch. Can't you just hear Simon's incredulity...? (Sigh)... Okay, Master, if you say so. (Parenthetical, sexist remark): Obviously Simon was a married man, because he was trained to resign himself to doing things somebody else wanted... e.g., "Yes, Dear."

Then comes the shocking haul of fish. When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. Wow, in the course of no more than a few hours, their labor went from fruitless to overwhelmingly abundant. By their own (legitimate) efforts... nothing, not even a minnow. However, after spending time with the Master... and consequently obeying His command... the nets begin to break due to the large number of fish in them.

Simon's response is what I'd really like us to consider... On the surface, it doesn't make any sense. Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man! Gee, Simon - the Lord does an awesome, otherwise unexplainable work of grace through your obedience - and you tell him to hit the road! In the words of Jar Jar Binks, "How wude!" How about a simple, "Thank you", or "Wow, You're awesome, Lord!" Nope, Simon's response is, "I don't want to be near you." Why?

Perhaps the answer lies in the second part of his surprising statement... "I am a sinful man!" I mean, I try, Lord, I really do... but often times my efforts don't get me anywhere. I've been working at this church for so long... and it doesn't seem like it's any better off now than it was when I got here. Or how about this: I've been teaching Sunday School for years now, and have never been able to lead anyone to Christ... I've been praying for my prodigal son (or daughter) to come back home for years now, but they're still living a destructive life... I've tried to be nice to my pastor (or priest) but he's so callous and impersonal... why don't you step in and help me, God?

We live by confident faith that God watches over our coming and going... but we also live with an understanding that God doesn't always answer our prayers - He is not our puppet. We have to guard against having a demanding spirit toward God's benevolence. Often times, He quietly weaves His grace into our lives without our knowledge. Sometimes, He chooses to remain quiet when we're going through difficult circumstances... but no matter what our emotions might want to tell us in the dark of night... we can rest assured that our heavenly Father never stops loving us or caring about the storms of life we face in this world.

But sometimes, He shocks us... overwhelms us with His holy presence... and even though it's a really good thing... our mind goes into spiritual overload... and, like Simon, we can't handle standing there before Him, feeling naked and utterly unworthy. I think it's because when God reveals Himself to us... we simultaneously see His holiness and our unholiness... causing us to shrink away from such perfection. I wonder what it will really be like when we supposedly "stand" before Him in the day of judgment...? Regardless of what Romans 14:10 says, I can't see us standing before Him whatsoever... In fact, I'm pretty sure we'll all be flat on our face, trembling in the wonderful, paradoxical mix of fear and joy associated with meeting Abba Father in His throne room.

Wow... What a day that will be! In the meantime, there's much work to be done... so let's push out to deep water and go fishing!

Let Down Your Nets

In Luke 5, Jesus told Simon Peter to push his boat out into the deep water and let his nets out for a catch. Simon agreed, but you can hear the serious doubt in his voice. "Master, we've been fishing all night and haven't even caught a minnow. But if you say so..."

Just because Simon doubted his Master's ability, doesn't mean he failed to obey Him when instructed to take action. These last couple of years in seminary have been very important in my relationship with the Master. When I came to KC, I thought I had so many of life's answers, and seminary would teach me how to put my thoughts into action. But to my surprise, that hasn't been the case at all. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that my little, boxed-in god whom my family and I brought with us to the Midwest is much bigger than I ever imagined. My days of listening to radio sermons and reading the latest books on pop-theology didn't really prepare me for what I encountered these past few years as a student. The pragmatic god of self-help and rational, practical answers has transformed Himself into the God of mystery and radical self-revelation. Don't get me wrong... since the time I was born again as an adult, I worshipped God with holy reverence and fear... but as I have read countless books and written countless papers and studied too late and spent all my money (and then some) trying to finish my theological education... something real and tangible has been infused into my understanding of God's holy character. Frankly, I was kind of scared that seminary would take away my fire and passion for Jesus Christ, but ultimately my experience has been quite the contrary... Rather, He has become more real to me than ever before. The more I learn about Him - and the way He chooses to interact with His creation, the more motivated I am to trust that I was made to serve His purposes, not the other way around.

Let down your nets for a catch... - Now that I'm just a few weeks from graduating, and the reality of pastoring a church - that is, being the lead pastor, the visionary, etc. - the doubt of Simon Peter is beginning to surface in my own heart. Lord, I've been fishing for a long time now, and haven't caught anything. I have been an associate pastor at a small church in Kansas City for five long years, and it's still a small... very, very small church. What makes me think I'll have any more success in another place if I haven't experienced much success where I've already been endeavoring to serve You day after day?

Let down your nets for a catch... - The church we're called to pastor has already failed at least once in its desire and attempt to turn the world upside down for Christ. Why should it be any different for us? Though I don't know all the details, surely this church started out with hopes and dreams of being a place of refuge for hurting souls, a place of revelation for those seeking God, and a place of meaning and purpose for those hungry for the presence of God. What makes me think we could do any better? What's so special about us? That's easy... Nothing whatsoever.

Master, I've been fishing all night and haven't even caught a minnow. But if you say so... - Maybe it's not that I have such great gifts or special talents... but because I've come to recognize my weakness and inability to do the impossible. Perhaps being aware of your weaknesses and shortcomings is as important as being aware of your talents and strengths. I don't know why Jesus chose Simon the fisherman to follow Him. Certainly it wasn't because of Simon's great ability to think before he spoke. Certainly it wasn't because of Simon's unwavering faith. Certainly it wasn't because of Simon's unceasing prayer... remember his nap in the Garden of Gethsemane? Perhaps it happened, not because he was bulletproof, but because he was willing... Not because he was perfect, but because he was moldable. Simon failed numerous times, and too often he stuck his foot in his mouth. But one thing he had going for himself... Even when he doubted, he obeyed his Master. He may have been shaking his head when he did it, but he let down his nets when Jesus told him to. And the result was astonishing. This is from The Message: It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch.

Hmmm... Isn't it cool what God can do when He has a humble and willing - even if a little doubtful - servant who decides to obey His will? May we all learn the art of fishing for women and men... from our good friend and fellow disciple, Simon Peter. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.

I Will Build My Church

This past week, my church denomination had a big, multi-day event. Lots of activities such as trade booths, information exhibits, workshops, and worship services took place for three days and nights. Interestingly, I noticed three streams of philosophical thought (in terms of doing church) with a strong presence there: (1) Traditional, (2) Emergent, and (3) Church Growth. I believe all of the camps thoroughly love Jesus Christ and desire to serve His kingdom... but they all have have unique perspectives on just what that means in practice.

The mostly older (in my estimation) Traditional folks love and honor their rich heritage. They continue to attend and support the denomination-wide events with gusto, even as they look bewildered by all the changes in methods and philosophical shifts they encountered a wide variety of workshops and public services. Over the nearly 100 years of our church's existence, our primary doctrines have undergone some pretty severe criticism, and have been minimized (or rejected) by many of it's own churches and church members. But of the remnant that prefers a more traditional church model, they continue to powerfully influence the denomination through strong verbal and financial support, as well as a firm power base at the top levels.

Meanwhile, the Church Growth folks had a very strong presence at the conference as well, continuing a trend that has been building steam for some time now. Essentially, the philosophy of this camp is that our old fuddy-duddy churches need to get out of their traditional rut and wake up to the new methodologies that attract unchurched people and transform communities. Rather than just continue to be a small, obscure presence in our cities and towns, we need to become market savvy... we need to meet the needs and desires of young families - because if they aren't attracted to come to our churches, they won't hear the message of salvation. Therefore, Church Growth folks would have pastors learn better marketing strategies and management techniques, rearrange their worship services to be more seeker-friendly, and follow a basic business model which have proven to be effective in countless mega-churches around the world.

The Emergent crowd seeks to be more missional, more organic in it's connection to the local community, and more concerned with serving God's kingdom than with building His church. This camp - in a moment of rare agreement with the Church Growth crowd - puts less emphasis on traditional doctrines and practices that came to full development somewhere around the 1950's. Emergents simply don't believe in placing an over-emphasis on the individual. Important as that may be, the gospel speaks more of corporate sin and salvation. Therefore, a major emphasis is placed on living in authentic community together, reading the stories of God and allowing His Word to shape our character.

Why am I writing all this? Since the conference is now complete, I've heard or taken part in several conversations about how splintered things are becoming within our tradition of faith. Rather than finding a way to affirm the good in the other streams of ecclesial thought... people are choosing what "side" they're on, and criticizing the other two with a subtle (or not so subtle) air of superiority. However, call me weird, or spineless, or attracted to the squishy-middle... but I think all three camps have at least something to offer. Obviously, if you've read any of my previous posts, it's very apparent that I fit most comfortably in the Emergent camp... but not completely. I went to a Brian McClaren seminar a couple of years ago, and that was the beginning of a major paradigm shift in my Christian faith. Since then, I have read numerous books and blogs, had countless conversations with Christians from all walks of life... and wrestled with God in my continual search for authentic Christianity. The result is that my faith in Jesus Christ has been strengthened, my calling to pastoral ministry has been reinterpreted, and my faith in the future of His church has been radically restored.

But does the Emergent crowd (or any other) have a patent on Truth? Are Emergents better Christians than those from the Church Growth Movement? Are Church Growth folks closer to the kingdom of God than the more Traditional folks? Whatever your opinion of the answer to those questions... only God knows the answers for certain (and I have a feeling we're all way off base... Aren't you glad for grace?) As a potential church-planter, someone who's been a member of a whopping two churches in my 13 years as a Christ follower (a Church Growth kind of church, and a more Traditional church)... I can tell you that I have encountered Christ in both communities numerous times. I have not ever yet attended an Emergent church... but something tells me the church I will serve as pastor will reflect much of that philosophy. However, just like I never fit in to any particular social labels in high school (the jocks, stoners, and rednecks)... I don't fit exclusively into any of the three streams of thought swirling around my church denomination either.

Frankly, I want the best of all worlds... I want to find a way to honor the traditions and doctrines upon which my church denomination was built (Traditional)... I want to be a good communicator and place a premium on doing things with excellence as a church should (Church Growth)... and I want to live in authentic, missional community with my friends and neighbors (Emergent).

Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:17-19).

Fire

From Psalm 104 of Eugene Peterson's The Message: O my soul, bless God! God, my God, how great you are! beautifully, gloriously robed, dressed up in sunshine, and all heaven stretched out for your tent. You built your palace on the ocean deeps, made a chariot out of clouds and took off on wind-wings. You commandeered winds as messengers, appointed fire and flame as ambassadors.

There was a big fire here in Kansas City earlier this week. Apparently some bad wiring in a bar set off a huge fire that engulfed a large portion of an city block, leaving a whole group of businesses at 75th and Wornall with nothing but charred remains and a horrible sense of loss. However, in a short sound byte kind of interview, I heard one of the owners bravely report that there must be some reason this happened, and she would rebuild... in fact, the new business would be bigger and better!

I don't know why, but I thought of the Hebrew people entering the Promised land. God is God, and doesn't have to explain Himself to us... therefore, sometimes God's Word can be pretty troubling. One of those times is when the Hebrews were commanded to charge into the Promised Land and destroy all who were dwelling there. To someone seeking God, one glance at the book of Joshua could very well derail their budding trust in Him... How could a loving God command His people to wantonly murder a whole generation of peoples and cultures who lived in the wrong place at the wrong time? Number one, we could probably never understand the darkness of the Canaanite culture... the evil is beyond our comprehension... child sacrifice, sacred prostitution, oppression and mutilation of the innocent and vulnerable... etc. It was a religious culture completely given over to the very idea of evil, and God had had enough. So, He sent His people, the people He had promised to bless, into the land to take it back for His sake.

Number two, this was not an eternal mandate... or excuse to wage "Holy War" with anyone who opposed the Hebrews throughout their history - rather, it was a specific empowerment of a specific people, for a specific time frame, for a specific reason. It was bloody, it was violent, it was vile, it was repulsive... but in the bigger picture of human history, it was necessary according to God. Do you know what else it is...? It is a perfect metaphor of our hearts. Like it or not, we are born into this sinful, fallen world and participate in it. For instance... I'll bet no one had to teach you to lie when you were a child... it just came natural the first time you were backed into a corner by your actions and felt compelled to get free by whatever means necessary. The bottom line is that we all store up some form of sin in our hearts... no one is exempt. But by His grace, God has given us a means of "waging war" on the evil inside of us, by coming to a place of recognition of the sin, and overwhelming desire to have it destroyed.

Repentance.

Our God is a God who both builds up and tears down. I'm sure the Kansas City business owner who lost it all in a consuming fire would not prefer to start from scratch all over again... but funny thing... when something is utterly destroyed, it creates an opportunity for something new, something better, something exciting, something meaningful... something unimaginable when life continues along at status-quo. Jesus put it this way: Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal (John 12:24-25).

That Jesus. He had a way with words. But have you noticed...? He never said anything He wasn't willing to live out in His own life... no matter the cost.

Bumper Sticker Theology

It's a hard thing, this life of faith. Many years ago, when I first fell in love with Jesus Christ, things were relatively easy. Just read God's Word and do what it says. But 13 years and nearly a master's degree later, I've learned that being a disciple of Jesus can't realistically be reduced to bumper sticker theology... C'mon, you've seen them before (heck, maybe you have one stuck on your rear bumper)... "God said it, I believe it, that settles it!"

Ya, I love God's Word too, but since the "good book" was written thousands of years ago, in other languages, in and for a completely different culture and philosophical worldview... trying to interpret what the Bible could be saying to God's people today ain't so simple. But frankly, I don't think it ever was meant to be simple. It's not a book of cut and dried answers to life... it's a unified collection of narrative stories of our God, and His movement and presence among His creation - namely, humanity. The Holy Spirit not only reveals how God has acted in human history, He also reveals to us - through the Church - how and where we fit into the ongoing story of God. As such,we as disciples of Jesus are called to do more than read the accounts what Jesus did and imitate his lifestyle... we are called to live in the community of God's people, interpret His Word through the lens of our cultural context, and allow the Spirit to show us how He is still at work in the world today through our lives.

Part of me wishes it were simple... just read the instructions and obey - but the greater part of me appreciates the holy mystery. God didn't give us a prescription for moral behavior, He gave us a collection of stories about ourselves... the good, bad, and ugly of human nature... and how He has continually weaved His mercy and grace in the midst of our fallenness. The Spirit of God beckons us to Christ, and reveals to us how our character ought to be shaped by His life within the context of our lives together as His disciples. I've heard it stated before that He is the Master, and as His disciples, we are apprentices, called to follow Him. Unlike what much of what 21st century American Church would tell you today however, the place we follow Him to is paradoxically into the valley of the shadow of death... to the cross.

Simple? No. Easy? No. Rewarding? Absolutely! Against all human logic, the Way of the cross, the Way of holiness, the Way of suffering, the Way of servanthood is the Way of deep-seated, God-infused joy. I understand that in my spirit, but articulating it to others caught up in a dog-eat-dog, fast-paced, self-serving world is difficult... no, it's downright impossible. Perhaps that's why we're called to do more than verbalize our faith... perhaps our actions - our Christlike concern for justice in the world - have the potential to speak louder than our words ever could. Perhaps we're called to do both... proclamation and mercy.