Doing Church

I love God. I love that God loves me, in spite of my warts - and I love that He loves loves the whole world, in spite of its collective evil... that is, thanks to His special creation (humanity).

And I love the Church - that is - the gathering of saints, singing spiritual songs and hymns, prayer, Communion, confession, encouragement, laughter, tears, serving others, excitement, brokenness, conversation, breaking of bread, laying on of hands, accountability, sacrifice, healing, forgiveness, redemption, grace. In a phrase... Joyful struggle. I told a listening friend recently that starting a new church is hard... it's a huge, very lonely, sometimes depressing struggle... but somehow, some way there is an inexpressible joy contained within the struggle. I know God has called us here to plant His church... but sometimes I really begin to doubt. Then someone or something comes along and the doubts begin to melt, at least for awhile.

Anyway, I had a nice conversation over lunch today... I was talking with my friend Bill about church. Nothing earth shattering, just trying to articulate what church is and perhaps what it should be. Just why do I want to start a new church in Ellensburg, anyway? I mean, there's already a ton of Christian churches in town... more than enough to handle its relatively small population. Well, not enough for the whole population I suppose, but more than enough to provide a place of community for Christians. So, do I think they're all doing it wrong, and I need to start a new church that does it "right"? No, I really don't think that's my motivation... although in my heart of hearts I do admit I believe there is some truth to that. 

I guess my real angst is that (in my experience) churches are designed to go after and do their best to retain existing Christians (by serving their needs) - rather than doing what Jesus told us to do... look for creative, out-of-the-box new ways to seek and save the lost. Yes, I know... laypeople are trained (for better or worse) to evangelize their friends, family, neighbors, etc. to get them all to come to church (where they can presumably experience God). But - this is where it gets messy for me - here is my question: should we try to get unbelievers into our churches to save them... or should we be going to them to preach the gospel (and sometimes use words)?

Perhaps it's not a yes or no, but a yes/and kind of answer. Perhaps it is good to gather as a community of God's people to worship and seek to experience the powerful presence of God together. But in all honesty... is that enough? Is it even the most necessary thing? Doesn't it seem like "church" has become this thing that we do... rather than something we are? Doesn't it seem like typical Sunday morning worship services inspire us to listen (and take notes) and receive (and learn)... rather than converse together (and become vulnerable) and give sacrificially (and grow)? Doesn't Sunday morning church attendance seem like it encourages individualistic mask-wearing rather than participation in the gospel story? Is Sunday morning church all there is to the Christian life...? That is, one hour of sitting and listening to people sing and talk about God? What about the other 167 hours of a person's week? Isn't Christian discipleship supposed to be a 24/7 thing? Isn't following God supposed to be the aim and passion of our whole lives?

Let me ask you... because frankly, I'm curious... If you consider yourself a mature follower of Christ, and yet the sum total of your time each week is spent worshipping God in a Sunday morning (or evening) "service"... how are you able to grow in your walk with Jesus? Are you accountable to anyone about your temptation to rebel against God? Does anyone know your story... your fears... your victories... your failures... your dreams... In other words, does anyone in the Christian community really know the real you? Who encourages you? Who prays for you (no, I mean really intercede on your behalf and stands between you and God)? Who depends on you to join their spiritual battle and seek God's will for their lives?

Maybe I'm missing something, but those things have never happened to me in a "come and see" atmosphere. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have been convicted of my sin, and I have poured out my heart to God during an altar call... but other than the token pray-er who bravely decided to join me and pray for me while I blubbered about my spiritual concerns... no one has ever come alongside me in the midst of my battles with Satan as a direct result of a Sunday morning worship service. 

Informal small groups, however, have utterly shaped and formed my Christian experience. Breaking bread with empathetic and trustworthy Christ followers has led to profoundly deep conversations about God's grace... and deep change within my soul. Missional activities, like visiting someone without hope in a hospital, or serving dinner to a bunch of homeless men, have provided me a closeness to God I never thought imaginable. Each of these activities shares common threads I believe are vitally important to discipleship: two-way interaction, and human presence.

Does all my ranting above mean I'm against Sunday morning worship? No... not at all. I guess I'm just trying to say I don't think simple church attendance has the same power to transform hearts that it used to have. I know, I know... small groups are all the rage in churches these days - and good as the idea might be... small groups have the same propensity to grow inward and become cliquish as Sunday morning worship services. Besides... most small group "ministries" seem to be designed to serve the purposes of the church more than its members.

 

So what would the ideal church look like? What would the ideal church encourage from its members? What would it require and/or enforce? When and how would it gather as a community? How could it get whacked-out busy people to slow down and give more time to God... to make time to establish authentic, self-giving vertical (toward God) worship and horizontal (toward others) relationships? What would its goals and values be as a community of Christ? How could it balance the need for Christian fellowship with the commandment to serve others?

Oh God... How are we to live (and gather and serve and worship) in this confusing, caffeine-enriched, crazy culture we live in? Where are you at work in our world... and how may we join you? How may we serve you... and best represent your holy presence in this place? How are we to be and do Church?

On This Rock I Will Build My Church

So, I was talking with a friend today (talking with friends always helps me articulate my otherwise random thoughts)... and we got into a discussion about vocational pastoral ministry.

To be honest, I'm pretty confused (but that's okay - so is my friend). On one hand, I track really well with the Emerging Church philosophy and it's desire to "emerge" or rise up out of the paradigm of modernity and it's redefinition of the historic Christian faith. So much of what the church has become in America is rooted in consumerism and individualism and reason (as opposed to communal, kingdom living and tradition). This, in my estimation, has made doing church as much a professional business as it is a lifestyle. And as any fan of Willow Creek or Saddleback can attest (by their endorsement of megachurch)... the bigger the church empire (aka, ministry), the more power and influence it has in the marketplace... and therefore, the more resources it can sell to Christians with an insatiable appetite for finding the newest, best way yet to know and follow God with as little effort as possible.

On the other hand, however, I suppose I'm about as modern as they come in terms of vocational ministry. You see, I wandered my dispassionate way through the wilderness of meaningless jobs for most of my adult life. I was always fairly good at what I did... but I never could put my heart into my job. Let's face it, it's tough to get excited about selling forklifts, or coupon advertising, or office furniture... at least it was for me. But one day, I was talking to an associate pastor (yes, at a big church - I'm full of contradictions) about my thoughts on small groups, and another associate pastor, overhearing our conversation, came up and asked me, "Jeff, do you think God might be calling you into the ministry?" 

Wow... with one simple question, that pastor changed the course of my life forever. Yes, it may have taken me until I was 35, but that day, I finally learned what I want to do with my life when (an if) I grow up! Mind you, it took me another 8 years to prepare (formally, at least) for the ministry - but nevertheless, now I can't even fathom ever doing anything but pastoring a church. I firmly believe God created me to be a pastor... that's it, end of story. (Oh, God... somebody please call a doctor... I'm obviously deranged!)

But do you see my dilemma? The modern church is the perfect environment for a lifetime vocational pastor like me... right? After all, the bigger the church, the more accolades (and book deals?) that can be negotiated, and the higher the salary that can be demanded. [WARNING: Long sentence to follow - try to maintain your train of thought the whole way through!] But these so-called emergents - those house-church kind of folks who actually think spiritual formation and Christian discipleship is more likely to take place in someone's living room or out in the public square, than in a massive auditorium with colorful banners and professional worship music - don't think money should be what drives the heartbeat of the church. In other words, I want to pastor a church that - in theory - wouldn't want to pay a pastor.

Arrrrrgggghhh! To quote the Apostle Paul... WAY out of context in Romans 7:24-25, "I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind..." 

You know, when it comes down to it, I love the idea of a smaller, organic, missional, communal kind of church... a New Testament kind of church. But there's nothing wrong with the concept of God "adding to their numbers daily" either. I think if the church I'm pastoring ever had to deal with the "problem" of exponential numerical growth... the thing I would try to remember is that we are simply called to love God, love our neighbor, and love our brother... not build a church empire. That, in essence, is His job if He so desires. However, God can move mountains with a community of people sold out to His cause, be it a community of 12 (with an unpaid lay-pastor), or a community of 1200 (with a staff of vocational ministers).

Hmmm, someday, I hope to find where I really belong along that continuum. For now though, I'm pretty content with where God has put me (lonely as it may be sometimes)... and I kind of hope He shows me what can happen here in Ellensburg when ordinary people listen and obey the One who came to redeem all of creation and share the good news. Wow, what if this church-plant rose up to one day become a spiritual oak of righteousness??? What if lives were changed... hope was given... bondage was broken... hearts were turned?

Geez... how audacious is that...? Yet, how humbling... how exciting! 

Come, Lord Jesus! We want to see your church grow (deep and wide).

Thursday Mornings with Roger

In the early days, we met at Starbucks. We'd get up at some ungodly hour, sip coffee, and talk. Frankly, the conversation had no rhyme or reason - just whatever was on our minds. Often, we'd step out of the Starbucks and join the geriatric crowd as they strolled along in the massive empty mall in which the Starbucks was located. On nice days we'd even go outside, and encircle the big, strangely built metropolitan mall located between State Line and Ward Parkway in Kansas City.

Sometimes the conversation was very spiritual - often we'd even drive to a nearby park or walk to one of the many isolated corners of the mall and pray together. But usually, the tone of our conversation was simply about life - sometimes life as two Christian men trying to be light in our world... and sometimes just two guys trying to maintain their sanity in the midst of a busy, overtaxing, meat-grinder kind of world. On any given week, it might be me or Roger (or both) who needed to talk - you know, just sort of unload all the junk stored up in our heart to a caring friend with a listening ear. Confession of sin... griping about something or someone... sharing a victory or key family event... any number of things could potentially set the tone of our mornings together.

Always, however, our mornings tended to revolve around two primary things: God's holiness and good coffee. Everything else may have randomly fallen together, but those two topics provided our conversations with a liturgical order and purpose. That is to say, we always enjoyed a great cup (or more) of steaming hot coffee, and inevitably the conversation always found its way to the personal, profound - albeit sometimes frustrating - grace of Jesus Christ, and the various ways He continually weaves it into our lives as imperfect, yet willing disciples.

After a couple of years at Starbucks, another option presented itself to us, which deepened our commitment to Thursday mornings together - Panera Bread became our new place to meet and talk and pray and laugh and cry. And our new location gave us three very important new motivators to get our butts out of bed on any given Thursday morning: (1) A private booth way back in a corner of the store... right next to the fireplace; (2) free online access (personal gripe: why in the world doesn't Starbucks have this?); and (3) Way-awesome breakfast! Wow, how I miss those bacon and spinach souffles. I admit, the coffee wasn't exactly Starbucks, but what the heck, we found a new home (church?), and it was almost heaven. The wonderfully-aromatic, most comfortable place on the planet (aka, Panera) became our weekly home away from home for the next couple of years.

But then I graduated and moved to Washington State. That's it, no more Thursday mornings with Roger. No more accountability. No more sounding board. No more prayer partner. No more fellow laborer in Christ to just whine to and be encouraged by. No more bacon and spinach souffles. No more iron sharpens iron. No more conversations about the emerging church, pastoral ministry, adoption (as in, Roger is in the midst of adopting a child internationally), parenthood, photography, and whatever else may have been going on in our lives at the time.

Oh, we've tried, and will continue to try other options like video chat... but it's just not the same without all the human and environmental trappings like eye contact, coffee aroma, guys washing the windows in the background (hey, it was part of the morning ritual), and Anna... our favorite waitress who knew us by name and always gave us the best looking souffles.

Lord, please send me another friend. Perhaps no one will ever be like Roger... and no other place will be like Panera... but send me a friend whom I can trust with my deepest secrets and fears... and someone to celebrate my victories with. Someone who'll listen to my stupid ideas without laughing at me (too much). Someone who will pray for me, confront me when necessary, and be my friend even when I don't deserve it. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, occasionally argue with, and always appreciate. Oh ya, and Lord... please send someone like that for Roger too. (Or just make it easy on all of us and Send Roger to the Pacific Northwest)! Amen.

Universal Truth

So, what is Truth anyway? Is there really such thing as universal Truth? More specifically (and controversial)... does the Bible contain universal Truth? How can we know?

Well, I've been having an email conversation with a couple of friends this past week, and I think the answer is yes... and no. Yes, there are unchanging, universal, non-negotiable, God-given truths which are revealed to His people through Scripture. But no, we can't just isolate and remove any one teaching or principle from the biblical record and universally apply it to any and all human circumstances. In essence, I believe that - rather than universal and transcendent - truth is alive and contextual, wholly dependent on the ever-continuous teaching of God's Spirit.

Modernity would like us to believe that we can read something in the Bible and - once we've properly dissected it into understandable nuggets of truth - overlay those principles to our lives today. I mean, why else would God give us the written record, except to allow us to distill the ancient stories down to timeless principles and moral instruction for our application in today's world? Answer: I don't know... I'm not even certain I believe that interpretation is entirely false. However, I do know that is not a wholly sufficient way to approach the mystery of Holy Scripture.

I don't for a minute believe Yahweh's revelation of Himself to His created beings can be fully manipulated, or digested, or understood, or embraced, or discerned, or grasped apart from His help. I don't believe for a moment that God provided us a logical record of a long history of relationship between the Creator and fallen humanity so we could read (study it, analyze it) it and somehow in our limited capacity, know and understand the fullness of Truth. If that were the case, then what role does the Holy Spirit play in this relational drama? Helper...? Bridge...? Translator...? Puzzle Solver...? 

No.

He is the Spirit of Truth, the One who Reveals (present tense) to His people. His role is not reduced to merely teaching us what the Bible meant... He is continuously at work in His Church, continuously revealing new dimensions of truth to God's people wherever they assemble in submission to God's authority. Yes, I know... the biblical canon has been closed - that is, there will never be any further books added or subtracted from the canon of scripture... but that doesn't mean God's Spirit is not still at work, still revealing God's intentions for His people TODAY, through submission to the ancient account of God and His fickle, rather faithless creation. The canon may be closed, but our story of salvation is still being written day-by-day. 

I admit, this is probably the most confusing, least clear post I've ever done (or will ever do). But I get so frustrated that my Church, whom I passionately love, is so wacky about universal truth and timeless principles. In my estimation (with a lot of help from other who write about this) - I believe this has led to the dangerous error of elevating Scripture (and reason) above experience and tradition, rather than holding them in tension with one another. It also leads to other errors that get us into big trouble. Can you think of any?

Yes, we are rational beings, but I've got news for you: intellectual reason is not the only channel of capturing truth for humans. We are not just cold, rational animals, we are emotional beings... experiential creatures... sensory-responding humans that have the capacity to discern truth in our mind, heart, and spirit. And God is Spirit. And we are to worship God in Spirit and in Truth.

Truth is not a set of principles... Truth is a person. His name is Jesus Christ... and He cannot (and will not) be reduced to a code of morality, or universal knowledge, or one-dimensional philosophical reason. That would be minimizing the power and ability of God to reveal Himself to us in fresh and creative new ways. Truth then, is organic, messy, problematic. It is not merely taught, but caught - captured through all the experiences and expressions of what it means to be human.

Truth is ongoing. Truth is alive. Truth is contextual. Truth is revealed to us as we submit ourselves to the author of life. 

In the immortal words of Lily Tomlin: "And that's the truth!" :-p