Hungry

Well, it's been an up and down kind of week, mostly down to be honest. 10 days to go, and we're all feeling the heat. Last night, I wrote a long, pretty negative blog which detailed our fears and concerns about this whole church-planting adventure. But I decided not to post it. Frankly, it was just too blunt and full of fear. Suffice to say things are not going real wonderful at the moment, but regardless of how things may look circumstantially, I continue to believe that everything will work out in the end. Moving issues, building issues, no-place-to-live issues, no-place-to-store-our-stuff issues... you know, everyday stuff (smile)!

I've been thinking about my recent post on personal evangelism, and I want to try to articulate my "method." I must admit though, it's not very structured... in fact, it's rather loose and flabby. There's probably a lot of overlap in my definitions below, but what can I say? Truth to me is not systematic and rationalistic, but inter-relational and organic.

First, I think it's important to become fully saturated with the love of God. It's not my pre-rehearsed speech that will convince someone to enter the kingdom of God, but the authentic love of God overflowing from my heart. So, in my mind, evangelism is rooted in a deeply dependent relationship to, with, and in Jesus Christ. This involves the basic Christian spiritual disciplines such as private and corporate prayer, and passionate consumption (and communal interpretation) of the Word of God. The Bible is read, not to receive "how to tips on evangelism from Jesus and friend," but rather to enter the story of God and allow His Word to shape my character from the inside out. The more I read... and give the Spirit of God permission to saturate my soul through the narrative and propositional truths... the more my heart, soul, mind and strength become mysteriously shaped into the image of Jesus Christ. It's not about principles for living... rather, more like revelation for transformation.

Secondly, I believe it is imperative to become thoroughly immersed in the local community in which I live... where I socialize, go to school/work, shop, eat/drink, play, run errands, worship, and dwell. The light of Christ was meant to be given away to others who are living in darkness, but I cannot shine if I do not engage and intentionally nurture relationships wherever I go and live. I don't need to carry the attitude that I must "get everyone in the world saved." No, I must carry the attitude that God is at work in my community, and I must seek to join Him where He is. As far as I can tell, that "place" is not predictable or measurable or containable. The task of reconciliation is the Lord's alone to carry out, and all He asks of me is to make myself attuned to His will, available to be His presence in the world, and eager to share the story of His resurrection power to forgive and transform with anyone who genuinely seeks Him.

Third, I believe evangelism extends to more than just a one-time conversation or crisis at the altar... into something much bigger and more effective in the context of eternity. Yet it is also messier and less controllable. Incarnational presence goes beyond getting someone to say the sinner's prayer... Incarnational presence is a continual acting out of God's personal touch to those who hunger to grow in their knowledge and experience of His grace. It is reaching out to the powerless. It is giving to the poor and needy. It is spending time to pray for the oppressed and afflicted. It is listening to those who need to spew venom or vent pain that has been welling up in their heart. It's doing what Jesus did when He came to this dark place... It's giving people a better alternative... and empowering them to believe in something (someone) outside of themselves... it's costly... it's self-emptying... it's God-focused and it's powerful.

Fourth, I believe evangelism has to erupt from our best intentions and motivations. I am not on a mission to grow a church, or get another notch in my gun (gunslinger talk)... or even satisfy my own ego to "get someone saved." No, the motive of my evangelistic style must not originate from my modern desire to build a powerful empire... it must originate in the all-powerful, pure, interdependent, ever-continuous love of the Triune God. I'm not here to do God any favors... frankly, He doesn't need me to save the world, or even one person within it. But He does delight in utilizing the overflow of my heart to touch people who yearn for something greater than what their experience has offered up to that point in their lives. I am not a self-automated power-tool, finding people who are broken and taking it upon myself to fix them... I am a hand-tool, placed in the hands of Almighty God, ready to go wherever He call me, and do whatever He bids me to do. I don't have to worry about anyone's eternal destiny... I just have to love people wherever I go, and trust that He knows what He is doing with my life.

Evangelism is not what we tell people, unless what we tell is totally consistent with who we are. It is who we are that is going to make the difference. If we do not truly enjoy our faith, nobody is going to catch the fire of enjoyment from us. If our lives are not totally centered on Christ, we will not be Christ-bearers for others, no matter how pious our words.
--Madeleine L'Engle