Jesus (good mood): But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.Jesus (bad mood): The Lord answered him, "You hypocrites! Doesn't each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water?
Paul (good mood): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Paul (bad mood): You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?
So... which is it? Are we supposed to love our enemies, or challenge the hypocrites? Are we supposed to not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, or confront people with not-so-gentle phrases such as "you foolish Galatians" or "Who has bewitched you?"???
Yes.
The other day, I was talking with a friend about this very subject (yes, you know who you are!). She is dealing with a really difficult guy in her church community with the spiritual gift of entering a room and causing everyone to brace themselves for the emotional train wreck that will inevitably result. This guy jumps first, and thinks later. And, rather than apologize for the carnage he lays to waste, his way of showing remorse for his over-the-top behavior is to (on his terms of course) give a loud, seemingly insincere apology, then move on without even waiting for a response from the offended party. And this guy is a longtime Christian for goodness sake! People are so intimidated by his presence, most everyone avoids eye contact when they meet him in the hall, and prays he doesn't sit by them at a meeting... out of fear that his shotgun approach to relationship-building will accidentally be aimed in their direction.
So what should my friend do? Should she love her enemy, or grab this guy by the spiritual collar and forcefully tell him to knock it off? Should she build him up with kindness, or let this jerk have it with both barrels? Her flesh may want to rip him to pieces, but her spirit says that is not a proper biblical response. I offered some thoughts, of course (I always have a response)... I'll share them in the next day or so... but I'm wondering what you think. Just what is the appropriate response to such a pain in the keester? What is the very best thing for the person overall? For the community? For my friend? How does love look inside the community of faith when someone walks around so full of mean-spirited verbal venom? Feel free to reply with a comment... I know it's intimidating, but don't worry, it's easy... and I'd like to read your comments. Besides, there's only a handful of people who read this blog anyway - so it's safe.
1 comment:
interesting situation. seems strangely familiar. in reflecting on this situation, i'd venture a guess that this is all too common in our churches. this could be troubling, or it could be seen as an opportunity (or it could be seen as a troubling opportunity!) . i really think that our struggle really isn't against those pain in the butt types that we encounter in life. rather, it's a struggle against those forces of the enemy that may be at work in those pain in the butt types we encounter. ( i think that's Paul's take on it.) and let's be fair. who of us has not been the pain in someone's butt? we've all fallen short of God's glory, right? we all screw up.
so what's the difference in the body of Christ. honestly, my temptation would be to right off this veritable vomiter of verbal venom. you know, just disconnect completely and detach. classic conflict-avoidance. i'm not sure Christ will let us get away with that. admittedly, i can be kinda dim and there is a lot about Christ that is mysterious, but I think i get this much. Christ is about redemption and reconciliation. what if your friend didn't excuse or take this kind of behavior from her acquaintance? but what if she also surrounded this situation in prayer and invited others to join her in this truly spiritual battle? what if truth was spoken in love and sin was confronted and restoration began? what if the attempts of the enemy to fracture Christ's Body were thwarted because the members of the Body resolved to hang together and together, administer healing to this wounded member?
my life's experience is that those who bark loudest and bite hardest are often also hurting most profoundly.
i think if it were me, i'd advise your friend to pray for patience and grace. i'd counsel them to find a way to confront the sinful behavior and seek active loving ways to manifest Christ's healing to this injured individual. pie in the sky? a naive and pollyanna approach? maybe. but if Christ really can make all things new and if He expects us to get involved in the process, i guess i have to believe that He can make it happen.
i think that a largely non-christian world watching us "Jesus people" would sit up and take notice if we really loved eachother when it wasn't easy and resolved our conflicts in our churches.
anybody can love folks that are nice and just like them. even sinners to that. (have i heard that somewhere before?) i am hearing a call to a radical kind of love - a love i know precious little about and have absolutely no resources in and of myself to create....but i've got to believe it exists. otherwise, i've got nothin' to hang my hat on with this jesus.
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