Thursday Mornings with Roger

In the early days, we met at Starbucks. We'd get up at some ungodly hour, sip coffee, and talk. Frankly, the conversation had no rhyme or reason - just whatever was on our minds. Often, we'd step out of the Starbucks and join the geriatric crowd as they strolled along in the massive empty mall in which the Starbucks was located. On nice days we'd even go outside, and encircle the big, strangely built metropolitan mall located between State Line and Ward Parkway in Kansas City.

Sometimes the conversation was very spiritual - often we'd even drive to a nearby park or walk to one of the many isolated corners of the mall and pray together. But usually, the tone of our conversation was simply about life - sometimes life as two Christian men trying to be light in our world... and sometimes just two guys trying to maintain their sanity in the midst of a busy, overtaxing, meat-grinder kind of world. On any given week, it might be me or Roger (or both) who needed to talk - you know, just sort of unload all the junk stored up in our heart to a caring friend with a listening ear. Confession of sin... griping about something or someone... sharing a victory or key family event... any number of things could potentially set the tone of our mornings together.

Always, however, our mornings tended to revolve around two primary things: God's holiness and good coffee. Everything else may have randomly fallen together, but those two topics provided our conversations with a liturgical order and purpose. That is to say, we always enjoyed a great cup (or more) of steaming hot coffee, and inevitably the conversation always found its way to the personal, profound - albeit sometimes frustrating - grace of Jesus Christ, and the various ways He continually weaves it into our lives as imperfect, yet willing disciples.

After a couple of years at Starbucks, another option presented itself to us, which deepened our commitment to Thursday mornings together - Panera Bread became our new place to meet and talk and pray and laugh and cry. And our new location gave us three very important new motivators to get our butts out of bed on any given Thursday morning: (1) A private booth way back in a corner of the store... right next to the fireplace; (2) free online access (personal gripe: why in the world doesn't Starbucks have this?); and (3) Way-awesome breakfast! Wow, how I miss those bacon and spinach souffles. I admit, the coffee wasn't exactly Starbucks, but what the heck, we found a new home (church?), and it was almost heaven. The wonderfully-aromatic, most comfortable place on the planet (aka, Panera) became our weekly home away from home for the next couple of years.

But then I graduated and moved to Washington State. That's it, no more Thursday mornings with Roger. No more accountability. No more sounding board. No more prayer partner. No more fellow laborer in Christ to just whine to and be encouraged by. No more bacon and spinach souffles. No more iron sharpens iron. No more conversations about the emerging church, pastoral ministry, adoption (as in, Roger is in the midst of adopting a child internationally), parenthood, photography, and whatever else may have been going on in our lives at the time.

Oh, we've tried, and will continue to try other options like video chat... but it's just not the same without all the human and environmental trappings like eye contact, coffee aroma, guys washing the windows in the background (hey, it was part of the morning ritual), and Anna... our favorite waitress who knew us by name and always gave us the best looking souffles.

Lord, please send me another friend. Perhaps no one will ever be like Roger... and no other place will be like Panera... but send me a friend whom I can trust with my deepest secrets and fears... and someone to celebrate my victories with. Someone who'll listen to my stupid ideas without laughing at me (too much). Someone who will pray for me, confront me when necessary, and be my friend even when I don't deserve it. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, occasionally argue with, and always appreciate. Oh ya, and Lord... please send someone like that for Roger too. (Or just make it easy on all of us and Send Roger to the Pacific Northwest)! Amen.

Universal Truth

So, what is Truth anyway? Is there really such thing as universal Truth? More specifically (and controversial)... does the Bible contain universal Truth? How can we know?

Well, I've been having an email conversation with a couple of friends this past week, and I think the answer is yes... and no. Yes, there are unchanging, universal, non-negotiable, God-given truths which are revealed to His people through Scripture. But no, we can't just isolate and remove any one teaching or principle from the biblical record and universally apply it to any and all human circumstances. In essence, I believe that - rather than universal and transcendent - truth is alive and contextual, wholly dependent on the ever-continuous teaching of God's Spirit.

Modernity would like us to believe that we can read something in the Bible and - once we've properly dissected it into understandable nuggets of truth - overlay those principles to our lives today. I mean, why else would God give us the written record, except to allow us to distill the ancient stories down to timeless principles and moral instruction for our application in today's world? Answer: I don't know... I'm not even certain I believe that interpretation is entirely false. However, I do know that is not a wholly sufficient way to approach the mystery of Holy Scripture.

I don't for a minute believe Yahweh's revelation of Himself to His created beings can be fully manipulated, or digested, or understood, or embraced, or discerned, or grasped apart from His help. I don't believe for a moment that God provided us a logical record of a long history of relationship between the Creator and fallen humanity so we could read (study it, analyze it) it and somehow in our limited capacity, know and understand the fullness of Truth. If that were the case, then what role does the Holy Spirit play in this relational drama? Helper...? Bridge...? Translator...? Puzzle Solver...? 

No.

He is the Spirit of Truth, the One who Reveals (present tense) to His people. His role is not reduced to merely teaching us what the Bible meant... He is continuously at work in His Church, continuously revealing new dimensions of truth to God's people wherever they assemble in submission to God's authority. Yes, I know... the biblical canon has been closed - that is, there will never be any further books added or subtracted from the canon of scripture... but that doesn't mean God's Spirit is not still at work, still revealing God's intentions for His people TODAY, through submission to the ancient account of God and His fickle, rather faithless creation. The canon may be closed, but our story of salvation is still being written day-by-day. 

I admit, this is probably the most confusing, least clear post I've ever done (or will ever do). But I get so frustrated that my Church, whom I passionately love, is so wacky about universal truth and timeless principles. In my estimation (with a lot of help from other who write about this) - I believe this has led to the dangerous error of elevating Scripture (and reason) above experience and tradition, rather than holding them in tension with one another. It also leads to other errors that get us into big trouble. Can you think of any?

Yes, we are rational beings, but I've got news for you: intellectual reason is not the only channel of capturing truth for humans. We are not just cold, rational animals, we are emotional beings... experiential creatures... sensory-responding humans that have the capacity to discern truth in our mind, heart, and spirit. And God is Spirit. And we are to worship God in Spirit and in Truth.

Truth is not a set of principles... Truth is a person. His name is Jesus Christ... and He cannot (and will not) be reduced to a code of morality, or universal knowledge, or one-dimensional philosophical reason. That would be minimizing the power and ability of God to reveal Himself to us in fresh and creative new ways. Truth then, is organic, messy, problematic. It is not merely taught, but caught - captured through all the experiences and expressions of what it means to be human.

Truth is ongoing. Truth is alive. Truth is contextual. Truth is revealed to us as we submit ourselves to the author of life. 

In the immortal words of Lily Tomlin: "And that's the truth!" :-p

The Keys to Success

Okay, okay... I cry Uncle... really I do. Recently, people have been pretty much telling me the same thing over and over again: (1) They like the way I articulate my thoughts about God and life, and (2) I don't do it very consistently at all. In fact, several times in the past few weeks, I've been encouraged (often with a fair bit of sarcasm) to update my blog more often.

And the truth is, I love to write... especially when I don't have to follow any rules or fear the editor's pen. More often than not, my grammar is likely incorrect, my punctuation is reprehensible, and my believe it or not, I've been known to say (and write) things that occasionally offend people. Yes, I know - big shock. But honestly, I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just trying to speak my mind about the profoundly easy, and yet profoundly difficult task of following Jesus.

So, after all these weeks away from my blog... here is my incredibly deep thought for today: I am not a very important person anymore.

In the past, I have had big keychains - keys to my car, my wife's car, my house, my work, my church, and even perhaps several other important places (or things) of value and security. But these days I only carry two keys - the one to my car and the one to my rental home. That's it - two lousy keys. No enormous keychain with a dozen keys crowding their way around the metal ring... just two rather simple, rather lonely keys.

You see, as a church planter, I don't have a church door in which to place a key - which is strangely humbling and lonely. When I encounter people and tell them I moved back to Ellensburg recently to plant a new church, the first question most of them ask is, "Where is your church located?" And when I tell them our home is serving as the place for our church - at least for now, most of them get a confused look on their face and say, "Oh, that's interesting." And part of me can't really blame them. After all, a church is a building, right? You know, a steep roof line, stained glass, bad landscaping, well-lit signage, etc. Hmmmm... or is the church more than a physical building after all?

Better question? What is the church? And what are the "keys" to starting a new church (pardon the pun)? In the past, one of the top answers was always rather obvious: secure a physical space that provides adequate room in which to worship as a community of believers. Well, duh! 

But how many well-intentioned church planters have immediately implemented this traditional wisdom in their local context, only to find themselves enslaved to a building (and rent) and everything else that implies, such as preaching to no one in an empty sanctuary. How much better then, to be freed and empowered to: (1) gradually and naturally become part of their community, (2) authentically build and develop relationships with a wide range of folks, (3) show hospitality by inviting strangers into their home, and (4) find creative ways to be missional - that is, to share the love of God in Christ with those who don't yet know of His amazing grace - both individually, and as a (growing) emerging new community of disciples learning to live life together as the "church."

In other words, what if worship were more than gathering together once a week (in our Sunday finest) to sing spiritual songs and articulate pastoral prayers, and acquire sermonic, practical help on how to live our lives better as a Christian believer. Note: I'm not down on church in general... (not completely, anyway)... but I guess I'm convinced that church - according to the teachings of Jesus - was designed to be so much more than what we've reduced it to. For that matter, the divine call to live a holy life was designed to be so much more than what we've reduced it to in 21st century USAmerica... but that's another post I suppose.

Well, anyway... maybe the keys to getting back to the fundamentals of the gospel are not found in a grand new building with a killer sound system, but rather in our collective family rooms and kitchens, armed with nothing more than mutual submission, authentic desire, and a biblical discussion about life... Not by going to church once per week (dutifully), but by learning to live out church 24/7 (passionately). Not by (merely) studying Jesus, but by submitting to, communicating with, and expecting the Holy Spirit to generously incorporate the character of Jesus into our lives - powerfully, mysteriously, and supernaturally.

Ahhhh, but regardless of all that - my ego would feel a lot better if my keychain became a bit more populated! Maybe Starbucks will give a key someday to open up shop at O'Dark 30 (?) Then again, maybe I should just follow the call of Christ, be more comfortable with two keys in my pocket, and try not to worry about how people in our culture define success.

Before I Get Drawn and Quartered...

Okay, I thought I'd better provide a quick update to this poor blog site, just so people don't think I've fallen off the edge of the earth. Things are going well, not perfect, but quite well. I can see God's hand at work in so many things throughout this church-planting process.

I know I need to get back to blogging, but I have kept busy with many other things... and besides, I don't have easy access to the internet (so that's my best - albeit weak - excuse)!

I have been working on a website for the new church. It's far from complete (very much a work in process)... so I could use your input as I continue to walk down the path of starting a new community of faith in Ellensburg, WA.

http://web.mac.com/kvriver

Thank you everyone for your positive encouragement and prayers. Since we've found a place to rent (as of August 17), I promise to get back to blogging regularly (and letting everyone know how things are going in our new life).

Gazelle Church

I picked up a book a while back... not a very great looking book, mind you, but hey, it was fifty cents so what do you expect? Every year, my denominational publishing house has a book sale, and every year, I buy even the dumbest looking books there is the slightest chance I might read someday, just because they are super cheap... it doesn't make any sense, really. But you'd be surprised to see how many people head to the ever-popular "dock sale" to buy books they have no real intention of ever reading... that, and ratty little stuffed animals and other assorted trinkets which didn't sell at full price either.

Anyway, this book I purchased... I kinda sorta had church planting in mind when I thumbed through it, and decided what the heck... surely it's got two quarters worth of material in it, right?

Yes, actually. Maybe even a dollar's worth! It's a big fat textbook I have no intention of reading all of it. However, I was interested in the chapters on marketing, so I decided to sit down during lunch and read the first few pages to get a taste of whether this book was super boring, or only moderately boring. But page two really got my attention. This is what I read (keep in mind, I'm thinking church-planting, not business enterprise):

"Entrepreneurs have seldom received the attention and respect shown to the executives of extremely large corporations" (see, this already parallels the church "enterprise" very nicely).

But it goes on... "Entrepreneurs who are willing to take risks have been the leaders that have produced our recent economic growth... Without the drive, energies, and dedication of entrepreneurs, new business formation would never take place... Entrepreneurs have proven over and over again to be the pioneers who convert ideas into products; dreams into reality. Entrepreneurs blend creativity, innovation, and risk taking with hard work to form and nurture new ventures."

And here is my favorite quote: "J. B. Say coined the term entrepreneur around 1800 in his discussions of the entrepreneur as a person who shifts economic resources out of an area of lower productivity and into an area of higher productivity and higher yield. He postulated that the major role of the entrepreneur was to exploit change, not by doing things better but by doing something different. He viewed the entrepreneur as someone in society who upsets and disorganizes the status quo."

Wow, change out 'entrepreneur' with 'church planter' and the productivity terms with spiritual terms... and you have a pretty good definition of the emerging church: Small, risk-taking, more flexible, willing to do things differently... shifting resources out of lower spirituality into higher spirituality, exploiting change, not by doing things better, but doing things differently! In essence, rejecting the status-quo (just because 'we've always done it that way').

Finally, the interesting, yet rather wordy intro had one more thing to say that I found very appropriate to church planting. Quoting David Birch, the author divides economic companies into three classes: Elephants, Mice and Gazelles. The Elephants are the very big, slow growth companies that are unresponsive to the economy. Mice are the small, self-employment, no-growth 'Mom and Pop' companies. And Gazelles are the new ventures that grow rapidly, tend to locate in select 'feeding places,' and are significantly innovative.

Hmmmm... I don't necessarily want to equate numerical growth of a church with financial growth of a business (though I must admit, there is an inherent connection)... but I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I want the church I serve in to be as fast and graceful in the kingdom as a gazelle in the grasslands. I want to take risks... I want to live dangerously (knowing there are predators about)... I want to analyze my new community and ask God, "What needs to happen in this place so that people who are hostile or ambivalent toward God can powerfully experience the reality of Christ?" I hope people show up in droves, of course... people hungry for something new (yet ancient), something refreshing, something, powerful, something very, very good. However, if only a handful come and want to be a part of this innovative, risk-taking, status-quo busting ministry venture in Ellensburg... then I need to be OK with that as well.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm excited... very, extremely, passionately excited to go 'home' again... take some risks, love people in ways they've perhaps not experienced by the Church before... and be a witness to what God intends to do in us and through us. Some Christians may be offended by our desire to be innovative, and some may even be inspired to join us in our spiritual adventure (which would be wonderful)... but frankly, our 'target audience' is not Christians... It's a highly eclectic mix of sinners who may have real concerns about church... but nevertheless hunger for the encouraging, forgiving and empowering love of Jesus the Christ. As my friend Jeff put it recently (since Ellensburg has a unique blend of cultures and personalities)... we should put a sign out front that reads, "Cowboys, Hippies & Co-Eds welcome!"

Amen, Jeff. That definitely sounds kind of weird, but very Gazelle-like to me!

Hungry

Well, it's been an up and down kind of week, mostly down to be honest. 10 days to go, and we're all feeling the heat. Last night, I wrote a long, pretty negative blog which detailed our fears and concerns about this whole church-planting adventure. But I decided not to post it. Frankly, it was just too blunt and full of fear. Suffice to say things are not going real wonderful at the moment, but regardless of how things may look circumstantially, I continue to believe that everything will work out in the end. Moving issues, building issues, no-place-to-live issues, no-place-to-store-our-stuff issues... you know, everyday stuff (smile)!

I've been thinking about my recent post on personal evangelism, and I want to try to articulate my "method." I must admit though, it's not very structured... in fact, it's rather loose and flabby. There's probably a lot of overlap in my definitions below, but what can I say? Truth to me is not systematic and rationalistic, but inter-relational and organic.

First, I think it's important to become fully saturated with the love of God. It's not my pre-rehearsed speech that will convince someone to enter the kingdom of God, but the authentic love of God overflowing from my heart. So, in my mind, evangelism is rooted in a deeply dependent relationship to, with, and in Jesus Christ. This involves the basic Christian spiritual disciplines such as private and corporate prayer, and passionate consumption (and communal interpretation) of the Word of God. The Bible is read, not to receive "how to tips on evangelism from Jesus and friend," but rather to enter the story of God and allow His Word to shape my character from the inside out. The more I read... and give the Spirit of God permission to saturate my soul through the narrative and propositional truths... the more my heart, soul, mind and strength become mysteriously shaped into the image of Jesus Christ. It's not about principles for living... rather, more like revelation for transformation.

Secondly, I believe it is imperative to become thoroughly immersed in the local community in which I live... where I socialize, go to school/work, shop, eat/drink, play, run errands, worship, and dwell. The light of Christ was meant to be given away to others who are living in darkness, but I cannot shine if I do not engage and intentionally nurture relationships wherever I go and live. I don't need to carry the attitude that I must "get everyone in the world saved." No, I must carry the attitude that God is at work in my community, and I must seek to join Him where He is. As far as I can tell, that "place" is not predictable or measurable or containable. The task of reconciliation is the Lord's alone to carry out, and all He asks of me is to make myself attuned to His will, available to be His presence in the world, and eager to share the story of His resurrection power to forgive and transform with anyone who genuinely seeks Him.

Third, I believe evangelism extends to more than just a one-time conversation or crisis at the altar... into something much bigger and more effective in the context of eternity. Yet it is also messier and less controllable. Incarnational presence goes beyond getting someone to say the sinner's prayer... Incarnational presence is a continual acting out of God's personal touch to those who hunger to grow in their knowledge and experience of His grace. It is reaching out to the powerless. It is giving to the poor and needy. It is spending time to pray for the oppressed and afflicted. It is listening to those who need to spew venom or vent pain that has been welling up in their heart. It's doing what Jesus did when He came to this dark place... It's giving people a better alternative... and empowering them to believe in something (someone) outside of themselves... it's costly... it's self-emptying... it's God-focused and it's powerful.

Fourth, I believe evangelism has to erupt from our best intentions and motivations. I am not on a mission to grow a church, or get another notch in my gun (gunslinger talk)... or even satisfy my own ego to "get someone saved." No, the motive of my evangelistic style must not originate from my modern desire to build a powerful empire... it must originate in the all-powerful, pure, interdependent, ever-continuous love of the Triune God. I'm not here to do God any favors... frankly, He doesn't need me to save the world, or even one person within it. But He does delight in utilizing the overflow of my heart to touch people who yearn for something greater than what their experience has offered up to that point in their lives. I am not a self-automated power-tool, finding people who are broken and taking it upon myself to fix them... I am a hand-tool, placed in the hands of Almighty God, ready to go wherever He call me, and do whatever He bids me to do. I don't have to worry about anyone's eternal destiny... I just have to love people wherever I go, and trust that He knows what He is doing with my life.

Evangelism is not what we tell people, unless what we tell is totally consistent with who we are. It is who we are that is going to make the difference. If we do not truly enjoy our faith, nobody is going to catch the fire of enjoyment from us. If our lives are not totally centered on Christ, we will not be Christ-bearers for others, no matter how pious our words.
--Madeleine L'Engle

Two Weeks

(Deep breath)...

In 13 days, we'll be heading out on the biggest journey of faith that we've ever taken before. And lately I've been reminiscing about our journey here. Looking back, I guess you could say we stepped out in faith when we sold our home, packed up our stuff and moved to Kansas City six years ago so I could attend seminary. And yes, it was a serious step of faith for us... but it didn't really seem like it at the time... we didn't know anyone in the Midwest, had no place to live, no jobs, very little money... In fact, all we had was a 26 foot U-Haul truck full of stuff and lots of faith that God had called us there.

And indeed He did call us to Kansas City. Not just for a rich, holistic, life-changing master's education and the opportunity to learn new things about God... but also for the practical life experiences and the opportunity to learn new things about ourselves! One lesson we certainly learned (sometimes the hard way) is that yes, indeed, God was there to take care of us every step of the way... even when it seemed like times were very dark and our marriage might fall apart. Things simply fell into place... and we learned to depend on each other in ways that could have not come from our own wisdom or strength... it was truly the Master's hand guiding us. Strange, interesting, and thoroughly unpredictable events unfolded right before our eyes... all in all, those first few months were hard but very special to me and my family. All doubts about whether or not God had orchestrated our move (and our calling) - not us - were erased early on. I often struggle with knowing whether I'm following God's will or Jeff's will. The latter is not pretty... and I have many years apart from God to prove it!

Then, right at twelve months into our new life in Misery... uh, that is, Missouri, after the honeymoon period had worn off a bit and the finances were getting extremely tight... one of the biggest miracles of all took place... God called us to serve in a small church in the southern part of the city. The pastor and church board were looking for a seminary student who would simply be willing to serve part-time in exchange for living in their parsonage... a parsonage mind you, with four bedrooms, a full basement, and in a wonderful older neighborhood. Duh... It took me about three seconds to ponder the benefits of that deal! So, I paid them a visit that same day!

But, here we are, five years from that point, and two weeks from moving back to Washington State... and this revelation is really hitting me hard: I'm not going to miss the house one bit (and it has been a great place to live and raise our kids). Frankly, it's the people we're sad about leaving behind, not the building. Since we have the ever-hectic VBS planned for the last week of our time in the big city, the congregation threw us a big farewell party last night and laid hands on us to carry on the Christian tradition of sending us to our next assignment. The whole night was simply wonderful... and yet, it was terrible. I cried like a baby, and my wife cried even harder... and my nine year old daughter cried even harder than that! My 13 year old son didn't cry as much, but he didn't really say much either... he was too overwhelmed and choked up to speak. Good heavens, it was like an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition... I don't know about you, but I can't make it to the end of that show without tears flowing... Nor can I say goodbye to the people who have been our friends, adopted family members, and our biggest supporters without feeling like my heart is being ripped in two.

It's funny, but I've been waiting for this moment for a very, very long time. I've watched many fellow students, a few fellow associate pastors as they left us for greener pastures, never to return... and oh how I longed for the day when it would be us leaving for a new ministry adventure. And now that it is literally upon us, I'm excited of course... but surprisingly I'm not joyful. There's a whole stew of emotions flooding my soul right now - sorrow about leaving some of the best people in the world behind... fear and trembling about what we're getting ourselves into in Ellensburg (more to come on that topic later)... joy that it's finally "our time" to be heading out into the wild blue yonder... and (this is a paradox)... even a bit of mourning that I'm not in school anymore. I never considered myself a natural student... I have a pastor's heart, and only came to seminary to learn how to think theologically (NOT to learn how to become a pastor)! Even though I hated reading all those books (the boring ones), and dreaded writing all those papers (the difficult ones)... I am mystified to say that there is a part of me that misses the challenge to engage my brain in the marketplace of ideas... and consider how that translates into pastoral ministry in the 21st century.

My God, I've been institutionalized! It's a good thing I'm leaving town, or I might someday get the crazy notion to work toward a D.Min. degree... Nah, I'm not that warped!

Nevertheless... God is calling us, of all things, to come home. The vision has been cast, the deal has been set, the call has been made, and plans have been executed... we are now officially past the point of no return. I know this is the right thing to do, but why doesn't He make it easier to leave one place as we prepare ourselves for whatever he has planned where we're going? Oh well... our old church will move on and we will move on... but not completely. Though time and distance may separate us... the love of God in Christ will bond us to those wonderful folks for all eternity.

Thank you for all generosity, patience, love and grace you have shown me and my family these past five years, Summit View Church of the Nazarene! We are profoundly grateful for what you've done to shape us and prepare us to serve in His kingdom.