Thursday Mornings with Roger

In the early days, we met at Starbucks. We'd get up at some ungodly hour, sip coffee, and talk. Frankly, the conversation had no rhyme or reason - just whatever was on our minds. Often, we'd step out of the Starbucks and join the geriatric crowd as they strolled along in the massive empty mall in which the Starbucks was located. On nice days we'd even go outside, and encircle the big, strangely built metropolitan mall located between State Line and Ward Parkway in Kansas City.

Sometimes the conversation was very spiritual - often we'd even drive to a nearby park or walk to one of the many isolated corners of the mall and pray together. But usually, the tone of our conversation was simply about life - sometimes life as two Christian men trying to be light in our world... and sometimes just two guys trying to maintain their sanity in the midst of a busy, overtaxing, meat-grinder kind of world. On any given week, it might be me or Roger (or both) who needed to talk - you know, just sort of unload all the junk stored up in our heart to a caring friend with a listening ear. Confession of sin... griping about something or someone... sharing a victory or key family event... any number of things could potentially set the tone of our mornings together.

Always, however, our mornings tended to revolve around two primary things: God's holiness and good coffee. Everything else may have randomly fallen together, but those two topics provided our conversations with a liturgical order and purpose. That is to say, we always enjoyed a great cup (or more) of steaming hot coffee, and inevitably the conversation always found its way to the personal, profound - albeit sometimes frustrating - grace of Jesus Christ, and the various ways He continually weaves it into our lives as imperfect, yet willing disciples.

After a couple of years at Starbucks, another option presented itself to us, which deepened our commitment to Thursday mornings together - Panera Bread became our new place to meet and talk and pray and laugh and cry. And our new location gave us three very important new motivators to get our butts out of bed on any given Thursday morning: (1) A private booth way back in a corner of the store... right next to the fireplace; (2) free online access (personal gripe: why in the world doesn't Starbucks have this?); and (3) Way-awesome breakfast! Wow, how I miss those bacon and spinach souffles. I admit, the coffee wasn't exactly Starbucks, but what the heck, we found a new home (church?), and it was almost heaven. The wonderfully-aromatic, most comfortable place on the planet (aka, Panera) became our weekly home away from home for the next couple of years.

But then I graduated and moved to Washington State. That's it, no more Thursday mornings with Roger. No more accountability. No more sounding board. No more prayer partner. No more fellow laborer in Christ to just whine to and be encouraged by. No more bacon and spinach souffles. No more iron sharpens iron. No more conversations about the emerging church, pastoral ministry, adoption (as in, Roger is in the midst of adopting a child internationally), parenthood, photography, and whatever else may have been going on in our lives at the time.

Oh, we've tried, and will continue to try other options like video chat... but it's just not the same without all the human and environmental trappings like eye contact, coffee aroma, guys washing the windows in the background (hey, it was part of the morning ritual), and Anna... our favorite waitress who knew us by name and always gave us the best looking souffles.

Lord, please send me another friend. Perhaps no one will ever be like Roger... and no other place will be like Panera... but send me a friend whom I can trust with my deepest secrets and fears... and someone to celebrate my victories with. Someone who'll listen to my stupid ideas without laughing at me (too much). Someone who will pray for me, confront me when necessary, and be my friend even when I don't deserve it. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, occasionally argue with, and always appreciate. Oh ya, and Lord... please send someone like that for Roger too. (Or just make it easy on all of us and Send Roger to the Pacific Northwest)! Amen.

In Response to a Concerned Friend in Christ

This was my response to a concerned friend who was trying to understand my foul mood this afternoon. I believe it's self explanatory, and probably offensive to some:

Don't' worry, I'm still a Christian... More so than ever! But if you're curious enough to investigate, you'll find that the postmodern movement is far more than fluff. I don't want to threaten your faith, but if you want to talk it over over coffee sometime or a few times, I'll always be open. Frankly, we may just have to agree to disagree. Some Christians (young and old) embrace postmodernism, and many simply reject it - they don't trust what they believe it has to say to modern Christians... and consequently they think it's leading the Church down a path straight to hell.

I love the Church, but have long thought that something about it is incomplete, lifeless... essentially, something is broken about church, and I believe it somehow needs to be "fixed." The postmodern movement (though far from perfect) has a lot to say to the 21st Century American church to knock it back on its heels a little... and frankly, that angers some people, so they rail against the evils of postmodernism, and/or the emergent church. That happened to me today, and I still don't know if I'm more offended, angry or sad! Most of these people have never actually read or studied the movement - other than reacting to the out-of-context soundbytes they've heard - and what they hear threatens their understanding of "Truth." So, mostly out of ignorance and fear they reject it (and try to incite other Christians to do so as well).

My take is this: Okay, so read a book or two that explains the viewpoint. You may read about it, listen to what they're saying, and THEN if you don't like it, go ahead and reject the message. But if you haven't done your homework - if you're just reacting to here say and listening to radio preachers tell you how evil it is - then you really don't have a legitimate right to gripe about it. Yes, I'm still the same old Jeff, but I've been shaped by a seminary level education.

Some people think that's the problem... After all, Christians ought to just read the Bible (The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it)! You've seen the bumper stickers... They have an anti-intellectual view. Others think a seminary education gives a person the right to be superior and speak down to the "little people" who live in ignorance... But those folks are out of touch and just plain arrogant.

Quite honestly, I don't' believe I'm evil because I've worked my tail off to learn how to think theologically, nor do I think I'm superior to anyone. I do think I've learned a lot that can serve to help people who are living in darkness, and desperately want their lives to mean something. I don't have time to argue with whiny Christians who think postmodernism is the work of the devil. I want to spend my life living in grace-filled community that exists to help unbelievers recognize the goodness and grace of God... I don't think I need to constantly threaten them with the horrors of hell... 'cause the reality is, they're so worried about next week and next month that most of them don't even care at ALL about the next life.

And besides, deep down they already know that something is deeply, seriously wrong anyway. They don't need to be brow-beaten, they need to be given hope. And YES, they need to be made aware that life apart from God has terrible consequences - now and forever - but for goodness sake... spare me the 1950's legalistic, manipulative garbage that makes people develop an image of God the Father as horrible and evil. And yet, if we quit cussing, and dancing with the opposite sex, we can know that Jesus is the good guy who'll punch our ticket to heaven! All we have to do is make the logical decision to believe in Him (and of course, repeat the sinner's prayer).

That may be the paradigm in some modern circles, but from my perspective it doesn't have much connection to the gospel. Did Jesus ever do an alter call? Did Paul ever lead anyone through Evangelism Explosion? Did Peter ever lead someone through the four spiritual laws? Moses could have learned so much from Aristotle!

I hate to break it to you, but it goes a whole "hell" of a lot deeper than that... Jesus didn't come to save America... or save individuals only... or even to thump those unbelievers (or postmoderns) who reject God... He came bring reconciliation between God and ALL of His creation... ALL of humanity. He came to offer hope to the helpless... He came to dine with sinners, and tell them of His Father's love. He came to sanctify humanity... not just our bad behavior, but our corporate brokenness and mortality and desperate-ness.

Okay... that's enough of a sermon for now... read the papers [perhaps I'll post these later] and then we'll talk if you still want to :-) Of course, the they're not nearly deep enough... you'd be amazed at the volumes of books on what was accomplished in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. In the midst of all this, I for one am impressed at what the postmodern movement has to offer to the ongoing conversation. So ya, read some books if you want to keep going down a road to new discovery... but don't worry, I won't be offended if you won't or can't stomach it my "emerging" beliefs about doing church.

Frankly, I'm not changing back to my old fundamentalist theology of yesteryear... and besides, I'll guarantee you that - like it or hate it - postmodernism (or whatever it comes to be known as) is the future of the world and the church... so we can stay in the "good old days" of the past (or present) where it's safe, or step forth into the fearful darkness by faith in the God who continues to write His story of grace through His Church. Either way, I'm sure we'll get our ticket to heaven punched (grin).

Jeff

Verbal Venom 2

Over the course of time, we disciples are given insight as a result of reading the Word and spending time with the Lord in prayer. This work of the Spirit is not done in a vacuum, however, but rather in and through the community of other like-minded believers and followers of Jesus. That has certainly the case for me in terms of this subject.

I have had a rough week. My sister-in-law, the one I posted about last week, died three days ago. Being 2000 miles away from the epicenter of my family (not to mention being a starving student) made that stressful, not only in terms of the grieving within my family - but also in terms of preparing to fly out for the funeral, etc. Here's my point. I haven't had time to follow up the Verbal Venom posting... much less the desire. Somehow, the loss of someone I love - someone who died too young - distracted me, and prevented me from thinking very clearly.
But God, in His mercy, provided insight through the community of online blog-ism. He provided Bub... probably not his (or her?) real name (if it is, perhaps we should flog the parents). Nevertheless, Bub came through for me in his response to the questions I asked in my last post. Since it is more likely others will actually see his response if they are posted afresh, his insightful, Spirit-directed advice on living with jerks (even in the community of God) is copied below in all its unedited glory:

interesting situation. seems strangely familiar. in reflecting on this situation, i'd venture a guess that this is all too common in our churches. this could be troubling, or it could be seen as an opportunity (or it could be seen as a troubling opportunity!) . i really think that our struggle really isn't against those pain in the butt types that we encounter in life. rather, it's a struggle against those forces of the enemy that may be at work in those pain in the butt types we encounter. ( i think that's Paul's take on it.) and let's be fair. who of us has not been the pain in someone's butt? we've all fallen short of God's glory, right? we all screw up.

so what's the difference in the body of Christ. honestly, my temptation would be to right off this veritable vomiter of verbal venom. you know, just disconnect completely and detach. classic conflict-avoidance. i'm not sure Christ will let us get away with that. admittedly, i can be kinda dim and there is a lot about Christ that is mysterious, but I think i get this much. Christ is about redemption and reconciliation. what if your friend didn't excuse or take this kind of behavior from her acquaintance? but what if she also surrounded this situation in prayer and invited others to join her in this truly spiritual battle? what if truth was spoken in love and sin was confronted and restoration began? what if the attempts of the enemy to fracture Christ's Body were thwarted because the members of the Body resolved to hang together and together, administer healing to this wounded member?

my life's experience is that those who bark loudest and bite hardest are often also hurting most profoundly.

i think if it were me, i'd advise your friend to pray for patience and grace. i'd counsel them to find a way to confront the sinful behavior and seek active loving ways to manifest Christ's healing to this injured individual. pie in the sky? a naive and pollyanna approach? maybe. but if Christ really can make all things new and if He expects us to get involved in the process, i guess i have to believe that He can make it happen.

i think that a largely non-christian world watching us "Jesus people" would sit up and take notice if we really loved eachother when it wasn't easy and resolved our conflicts in our churches.

anybody can love folks that are nice and just like them. even sinners to that. (have i heard that somewhere before?) i am hearing a call to a radical kind of love - a love i know precious little about and have absolutely no resources in and of myself to create....but i've got to believe it exists. otherwise, i've got nothin' to hang my hat on with this jesus.

Amen, Bub. It sounds like you have wrestled with these issues before, and we get to be the benefactor in an iron-sharpens-iron sort of way. Thanks for a thought-provoking response to a difficult set of questions.

Verbal Venom

Jesus (good mood): But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.

Jesus (bad mood): The Lord answered him, "You hypocrites! Doesn't each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water?

Paul (good mood): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Paul (bad mood): You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?

So... which is it? Are we supposed to love our enemies, or challenge the hypocrites? Are we supposed to not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, or confront people with not-so-gentle phrases such as "you foolish Galatians" or "Who has bewitched you?"???

Yes.

The other day, I was talking with a friend about this very subject (yes, you know who you are!). She is dealing with a really difficult guy in her church community with the spiritual gift of entering a room and causing everyone to brace themselves for the emotional train wreck that will inevitably result. This guy jumps first, and thinks later. And, rather than apologize for the carnage he lays to waste, his way of showing remorse for his over-the-top behavior is to (on his terms of course) give a loud, seemingly insincere apology, then move on without even waiting for a response from the offended party. And this guy is a longtime Christian for goodness sake! People are so intimidated by his presence, most everyone avoids eye contact when they meet him in the hall, and prays he doesn't sit by them at a meeting... out of fear that his shotgun approach to relationship-building will accidentally be aimed in their direction.

So what should my friend do? Should she love her enemy, or grab this guy by the spiritual collar and forcefully tell him to knock it off? Should she build him up with kindness, or let this jerk have it with both barrels? Her flesh may want to rip him to pieces, but her spirit says that is not a proper biblical response. I offered some thoughts, of course (I always have a response)... I'll share them in the next day or so... but I'm wondering what you think. Just what is the appropriate response to such a pain in the keester? What is the very best thing for the person overall? For the community? For my friend? How does love look inside the community of faith when someone walks around so full of mean-spirited verbal venom? Feel free to reply with a comment... I know it's intimidating, but don't worry, it's easy... and I'd like to read your comments. Besides, there's only a handful of people who read this blog anyway - so it's safe.