Spiritual Fitness

This week's focus book(s) to read is: 1 & 2 TIMOTHY

I re-learned something recently that I already knew intuitively. Fasting is a great spiritual discipline, but a lousy way to lose weight (in the long run). Many of you already know, just less than a couple of weeks ago I completed a 40-day fast, whereas I only drank water, juice, broth, and a lot of yukky tea and some other distasteful things. And I lost 30 pounds in the process. But here's the kicker: since I started eating again, I've gained much of it back already... yep, I'm growing the gut again.  :-(  Oh well, that's because fasting as a diet is a really lousy, rather unhealthy way of shedding weight. During the famine you lose weight (though not at first, since your body goes in to starvation mode)... but eventually it comes off. However, during the feast you gain it back again in a great big hurry! 

I firmly believe that losing weight is more about paying close attention to eating a balanced diet (less carbs in my case)... moderating the portions (listening to my body)... EXERCISE... and frankly, giving my health/vanity over to God (recognizing it first and foremost as a spiritual battle). All of those things are key if I ever want to lose the gut once and for all (and perhaps live longer too).

Want to know the truth? I kinda do the same thing with Daily Bread too... that is, I have a feast or famine approach to chewing on the words of Holy Scripture. I might go a few days without reading a word... then spend several hours immersing myself in seeking what God has to say to me through the stories of His people. Why am I like that? Why do I starve myself for awhile, only to piggishly slop around in it later? Wouldn't a more mature approach be to marinate my soul (to continue the food analogy) in the Word daily... tuning my ear to God's Spirit, and seeking to know the will of God through an intentional, disciplined time of prayer?

⁶ If you explain these things to the brothers and sisters, Timothy, you will be a worthy servant of Christ Jesus, one who is nourished by the message of faith and the good teaching you have followed. ⁷ Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. ⁸ “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” ⁹ This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. ¹⁰This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.

Man, I really do want to get into shape. I want to look better, feel better, and live life more fully by getting into good physical condition. But more than that... much, much more than that - I want to train myself for godliness - and consequently, teach others how to receive the, "promising benefits in this life and in the life to come." I am not a perfect person... far from it. But God has called me to grow and mature in my faith, and passionately encourage others to bear down, to breathe deeply, and discipline themselves to do the necessary hard work so they can walk in the narrow path... the path of holiness... the Way of our Lord and our salvation... the resurrected life.


Thank you, Cole, for constantly and continually reminding me of my need to feed on the Words of God daily... and spend enough time in prayer to really and truly hear what He wants to whisper into my ear. You indeed are my Timothy, as well as my son.

Thursday Mornings with Roger

In the early days, we met at Starbucks. We'd get up at some ungodly hour, sip coffee, and talk. Frankly, the conversation had no rhyme or reason - just whatever was on our minds. Often, we'd step out of the Starbucks and join the geriatric crowd as they strolled along in the massive empty mall in which the Starbucks was located. On nice days we'd even go outside, and encircle the big, strangely built metropolitan mall located between State Line and Ward Parkway in Kansas City.

Sometimes the conversation was very spiritual - often we'd even drive to a nearby park or walk to one of the many isolated corners of the mall and pray together. But usually, the tone of our conversation was simply about life - sometimes life as two Christian men trying to be light in our world... and sometimes just two guys trying to maintain their sanity in the midst of a busy, overtaxing, meat-grinder kind of world. On any given week, it might be me or Roger (or both) who needed to talk - you know, just sort of unload all the junk stored up in our heart to a caring friend with a listening ear. Confession of sin... griping about something or someone... sharing a victory or key family event... any number of things could potentially set the tone of our mornings together.

Always, however, our mornings tended to revolve around two primary things: God's holiness and good coffee. Everything else may have randomly fallen together, but those two topics provided our conversations with a liturgical order and purpose. That is to say, we always enjoyed a great cup (or more) of steaming hot coffee, and inevitably the conversation always found its way to the personal, profound - albeit sometimes frustrating - grace of Jesus Christ, and the various ways He continually weaves it into our lives as imperfect, yet willing disciples.

After a couple of years at Starbucks, another option presented itself to us, which deepened our commitment to Thursday mornings together - Panera Bread became our new place to meet and talk and pray and laugh and cry. And our new location gave us three very important new motivators to get our butts out of bed on any given Thursday morning: (1) A private booth way back in a corner of the store... right next to the fireplace; (2) free online access (personal gripe: why in the world doesn't Starbucks have this?); and (3) Way-awesome breakfast! Wow, how I miss those bacon and spinach souffles. I admit, the coffee wasn't exactly Starbucks, but what the heck, we found a new home (church?), and it was almost heaven. The wonderfully-aromatic, most comfortable place on the planet (aka, Panera) became our weekly home away from home for the next couple of years.

But then I graduated and moved to Washington State. That's it, no more Thursday mornings with Roger. No more accountability. No more sounding board. No more prayer partner. No more fellow laborer in Christ to just whine to and be encouraged by. No more bacon and spinach souffles. No more iron sharpens iron. No more conversations about the emerging church, pastoral ministry, adoption (as in, Roger is in the midst of adopting a child internationally), parenthood, photography, and whatever else may have been going on in our lives at the time.

Oh, we've tried, and will continue to try other options like video chat... but it's just not the same without all the human and environmental trappings like eye contact, coffee aroma, guys washing the windows in the background (hey, it was part of the morning ritual), and Anna... our favorite waitress who knew us by name and always gave us the best looking souffles.

Lord, please send me another friend. Perhaps no one will ever be like Roger... and no other place will be like Panera... but send me a friend whom I can trust with my deepest secrets and fears... and someone to celebrate my victories with. Someone who'll listen to my stupid ideas without laughing at me (too much). Someone who will pray for me, confront me when necessary, and be my friend even when I don't deserve it. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, occasionally argue with, and always appreciate. Oh ya, and Lord... please send someone like that for Roger too. (Or just make it easy on all of us and Send Roger to the Pacific Northwest)! Amen.

Raised Up

How come everyone who knew Jesus was so surprised about His resurrection? I mean, it's not like Jesus never plainly told His disciples that he would suffer, be killed and raised to life again (Matthew 16, 17, 20, Luke 9). He even tore into Simon for arguing against that "crazy" line of thinking... going so far as to call him the devil for trying to circumvent God's plan of salvation (Matthew 16:23). But it's true... all of it... the Son of Man came to fulfill the Old Testament prophecies and rescue humanity from its helpless estate. He came to suffer and die, opening for us a way to die to our sin (rather than in our sin). And yet He was raised, opening for us the way to live in the power of His resurrection.

But still we doubt... and argue. Those who don't believe in Christ doubt the resurrection because it is simply not logical or reasonable. Those of us who have crossed that spiritual/intellectual barrier and do believe in the resurrection of Jesus can't quite agree on what was accomplished in terms of our life in Christ. Was the work of the atonement (including the resurrection) primarily a legal transaction... or was it more about the demonstration of holy love? Was it for the salvation of all humanity, or just the elect? Yada, yada, yada...

In my tradition of faith - which certainly has its detractors (many of whom may write me a long response to correct my improper view of sanctification) - we view the resurrection as an invitation to live the Christ life, and all that implies. Wesley said something to the effect that the supreme and overruling purpose of God's plan of salvation is to renew men and women's hearts in His image... not just someday but in this life. Not perfection of our humanity per se, but perfection of our ability to love others. The Holy Spirit reveals this holy mystery to us and empowers us to participate in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. In other words, Jesus not only delivered us from all sin (in objective terms), He also made it possible for believers to be filled with all the fullness of God (in subjective terms)... through faith that works by grace-filled, ever-growing love for God and neighbor.

Well, whether or not any of that made any sense... Easter is certainly a cause for Christian celebration... even in the midst of our perplexing, doubt-laden, relationship with, and oft-argued understanding of the resurrection. Perhaps it's not important that we fully understand and/or agree on all the implications of the resurrection, as it is to simply believe and extend grace toward one another.

In Luke 24, when He encountered the disciples on the road to Emmaus, Jesus employed a great way to open the eyes of the disciples so they were filled to overflowing with surprising joy and Messianic hope; the Eucharist. After pointing out all that the Scriptures had to say about his earthly ministry, Jesus, "Sat down at the table with them. Taking the bread, he blessed and broke and gave it to them. At that moment, open-eyed, wide-eyed, they recognized him" (Luke 24, The Message). Wow, when we sit down at the table of fellowship and break bread together as followers of Jesus, we find that all we need to know about God's salvation is made clearly visible to us... He gives us full recognition and removes our doubts and anxieties so that we may experience the fullness of His divine presence. Hmmmmm... That seems worthy of celebration. Happy Easter!

Why, Lord?

From Psalm 18 (The Message):

The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Someone I'm very close to is dying. A dreaded disease has entangled itself around her organs and is slowly snuffing out her life. She is an extraordinarily positive person, and brave beyond my comprehension... both of which have likely kept her alive this long. But she is growing weary of the battle, I can sense it. I keep praying for a miracle... and believe He can touch her body if He chooses. That said, however, I want to walk a careful line between faith in Him and demandedness of Him.

It's kind of weird, but I've never had anyone really close to me die before - that is - except my grandparents and an elderly aunt and uncle. But somehow, my large nuclear family has managed to escape the inevitable loss of someone taken from us way before their time. Five brothers and sisters, with husbands, wives and kids,etc.... and yet, we've not had to deal with the shock of losing someone young. But I think we're about to experience a significant shock wave fairly soon. I feel so helpless. I'm 2000 miles away from my family, and really don't have the resources to do anything except throw out the occasional sound byte to God... "Lord, please heal her, give the family peace"... you know what I mean, don't you? Where's the power in that?

But tonight was different. Tonight was about much more than a sound byte to God. Tonight it all became real and powerful and searingly painful. Tonight I came to a whole new realization of the value each person brings into my life... especially family members - those I know more intimately. Tonight I got beyond my self-centered little world, and felt a tremendous amount of pain for someone I love... and as a result my heart is hurting deeply. I can't stop weeping. Why do people have to get sick? Why does death have to rob us of our togetherness? Why does life have to be so fragile and painful? Why do perfectly healthy, perfectly happy, perfectly young people have to suffer for no apparent reason... and why do we have to witness the beautiful gift of life slowly bleeding out of their body?

In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. There is one thing that is of great comfort in all this confusion and pain. Somehow, through the fog of our experience, the Lord reveals Himself as light in the darkness... He hears our cries for help. He may not answer our prayers in the way we would like Him to, but He does quiet our spirit when we're afraid. He does call us by name when we're feeling very alone and afraid. He does reassure us that He loves us very deeply and eternally when we're in deep spiritual pain.

Somehow, tonight was different... somehow, tonight my cry came before Him... tonight I prayed far more than a sound byte. And He heard me. He brought a sense of comfort to the person who is suffering. He brought His holy presence to someone who is in the darkest valley of their earthly existence. He poured out His anointing on a phone conversation, enabling two people to connect by means of His Holy Spirit. Tonight a prayer was heard, and felt, and answered. Tonight, we encountered together the One who is all too familiar with suffering and death... and He reminded me that He is also the One who was resurrected and lives for our sake.

Thank you, Abba, for filling our emptiness with your divine presence. Amen.

Go Away From Me!

Yesterday, I posted about Simon Peter's doubt when Jesus told him to let down his nets for a catch. But I missed another important element of the story. When Peter did obey, the nets were overwhelmed... and so was Simon. After spending an entire night of fishing with no results. Mind you, this was a "professional" fisherman who lived and breathed the vocation of hauling in the catch. It was his family tradition and primary source of income, so I think we can safely assume that Simon knew how to fish. And yet, nothing. A whole night of effort with no reward.

Then Jesus entered the picture, and everything changed. "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." I don't know where Peter spent his night fishing... presumably where he knew the deep underwater pools attracted the big fish to come and hang out for a midnight snack. To catch fish, you have to go to where they are. But for all his expertise, Simon and crew came up empty and exhausted. When Jesus hopped into his boat, I'm sure Simon was relieved to just sit there and listen to the Master teach the people. But when He was done, He told Simon to put out into deep water and let down the nets for a catch. Can't you just hear Simon's incredulity...? (Sigh)... Okay, Master, if you say so. (Parenthetical, sexist remark): Obviously Simon was a married man, because he was trained to resign himself to doing things somebody else wanted... e.g., "Yes, Dear."

Then comes the shocking haul of fish. When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. Wow, in the course of no more than a few hours, their labor went from fruitless to overwhelmingly abundant. By their own (legitimate) efforts... nothing, not even a minnow. However, after spending time with the Master... and consequently obeying His command... the nets begin to break due to the large number of fish in them.

Simon's response is what I'd really like us to consider... On the surface, it doesn't make any sense. Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man! Gee, Simon - the Lord does an awesome, otherwise unexplainable work of grace through your obedience - and you tell him to hit the road! In the words of Jar Jar Binks, "How wude!" How about a simple, "Thank you", or "Wow, You're awesome, Lord!" Nope, Simon's response is, "I don't want to be near you." Why?

Perhaps the answer lies in the second part of his surprising statement... "I am a sinful man!" I mean, I try, Lord, I really do... but often times my efforts don't get me anywhere. I've been working at this church for so long... and it doesn't seem like it's any better off now than it was when I got here. Or how about this: I've been teaching Sunday School for years now, and have never been able to lead anyone to Christ... I've been praying for my prodigal son (or daughter) to come back home for years now, but they're still living a destructive life... I've tried to be nice to my pastor (or priest) but he's so callous and impersonal... why don't you step in and help me, God?

We live by confident faith that God watches over our coming and going... but we also live with an understanding that God doesn't always answer our prayers - He is not our puppet. We have to guard against having a demanding spirit toward God's benevolence. Often times, He quietly weaves His grace into our lives without our knowledge. Sometimes, He chooses to remain quiet when we're going through difficult circumstances... but no matter what our emotions might want to tell us in the dark of night... we can rest assured that our heavenly Father never stops loving us or caring about the storms of life we face in this world.

But sometimes, He shocks us... overwhelms us with His holy presence... and even though it's a really good thing... our mind goes into spiritual overload... and, like Simon, we can't handle standing there before Him, feeling naked and utterly unworthy. I think it's because when God reveals Himself to us... we simultaneously see His holiness and our unholiness... causing us to shrink away from such perfection. I wonder what it will really be like when we supposedly "stand" before Him in the day of judgment...? Regardless of what Romans 14:10 says, I can't see us standing before Him whatsoever... In fact, I'm pretty sure we'll all be flat on our face, trembling in the wonderful, paradoxical mix of fear and joy associated with meeting Abba Father in His throne room.

Wow... What a day that will be! In the meantime, there's much work to be done... so let's push out to deep water and go fishing!

Bumper Sticker Theology

It's a hard thing, this life of faith. Many years ago, when I first fell in love with Jesus Christ, things were relatively easy. Just read God's Word and do what it says. But 13 years and nearly a master's degree later, I've learned that being a disciple of Jesus can't realistically be reduced to bumper sticker theology... C'mon, you've seen them before (heck, maybe you have one stuck on your rear bumper)... "God said it, I believe it, that settles it!"

Ya, I love God's Word too, but since the "good book" was written thousands of years ago, in other languages, in and for a completely different culture and philosophical worldview... trying to interpret what the Bible could be saying to God's people today ain't so simple. But frankly, I don't think it ever was meant to be simple. It's not a book of cut and dried answers to life... it's a unified collection of narrative stories of our God, and His movement and presence among His creation - namely, humanity. The Holy Spirit not only reveals how God has acted in human history, He also reveals to us - through the Church - how and where we fit into the ongoing story of God. As such,we as disciples of Jesus are called to do more than read the accounts what Jesus did and imitate his lifestyle... we are called to live in the community of God's people, interpret His Word through the lens of our cultural context, and allow the Spirit to show us how He is still at work in the world today through our lives.

Part of me wishes it were simple... just read the instructions and obey - but the greater part of me appreciates the holy mystery. God didn't give us a prescription for moral behavior, He gave us a collection of stories about ourselves... the good, bad, and ugly of human nature... and how He has continually weaved His mercy and grace in the midst of our fallenness. The Spirit of God beckons us to Christ, and reveals to us how our character ought to be shaped by His life within the context of our lives together as His disciples. I've heard it stated before that He is the Master, and as His disciples, we are apprentices, called to follow Him. Unlike what much of what 21st century American Church would tell you today however, the place we follow Him to is paradoxically into the valley of the shadow of death... to the cross.

Simple? No. Easy? No. Rewarding? Absolutely! Against all human logic, the Way of the cross, the Way of holiness, the Way of suffering, the Way of servanthood is the Way of deep-seated, God-infused joy. I understand that in my spirit, but articulating it to others caught up in a dog-eat-dog, fast-paced, self-serving world is difficult... no, it's downright impossible. Perhaps that's why we're called to do more than verbalize our faith... perhaps our actions - our Christlike concern for justice in the world - have the potential to speak louder than our words ever could. Perhaps we're called to do both... proclamation and mercy.